at least on nights when I have maybe that one extra beer adding to extra stress and all the rest
writing words that are not untrue, in that they reflected the moment and my thoughts and are me, but maybe shouldn't be said because while they may be felt and the emotions are real to me, they may only exist in my head.
the ever changing routine of the summer schedule has made it challenging to get anything done this week, and tough to really get any measurable riding. Maybe tomorrow will make some difference.
have to get through today, currently in the hurry up and wait, get everything ready. poised for the next burst of insanity and barely workable timing.
too many unknowns
too many days working, but days off, or days not working are so filled with catching up and other stuff they aren't feeling restful. vacation? needed, not going to happen. yeah. i need to let it go and just focus on what needs to happen for everyone around me.
seeing Kelrock yesterday drove home how little i'm able to focus on being prepared for the potential of CX season, drivetrain on the black blue, aka commuter, is now at the point where it is skipping under any torque spikes in many gears. Hasn't broken yet though. Not really rideable though I suppose, well nothing that can be used to train on. I've started putting the white blue together, but that's been stalled by just being too tired to do anything once I finally get dinner made and eaten. Maybe tonight.
It is what it is. cycles. some days lucid, some days insane, most days just feel like an endless maze...
heddwch
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