making time

 Sometimes habits develop that suck time. 

Little ones. But often related to that device glued to ourselves.

I have no problem talking on the phone for work, but I am not a fan of chatting on it. And so pretty much the lowest % of use the damn device gets is as a 'phone' even though that's its name.

Great Glen was good. I turned if off and didn't touch if for 28 hours or more. Yup.

Addiction eh? Yup. There's a couple games that i've been killing time playing for a while. Bumped up against the level limits, waiting every week for them to release new ones, time killer.

Not huge time but time occupied. It was meditative in a way, a routine, not all bad.

But.

It was also an addiction I wanted to break but some how logging in to keep the streak alive every day was important.

Took being up there w/o coverage (and w/o realizing there was wifi) to break that habit.

I've accidentally clicked on one of the apps out of habit but managed to exit before getting sucked back in.

Streak broken means I can start something else.

I haven't but i guess maybe I have by spending more time on IG and twitter. Phone is still in my hand. But also it is in my hand much less.

Battery is lasting all fucking day now instead of just half the day. But I'm also adding little bits of productivity in there instead of that.

Writing here more?

A little maybe.

I don't feel really much different but it is a good thing and there's a small level of gratitude for that break.

Next up, coffee.

ahahah yeah right... no seriously probably should work in a taper sometime.

Knee is feeling a little better, slowly, but i wore pants today and can't ice it at my desk sitting down when the inflammation is noticeable and getting aggravated. It's fine straightened but mostly painful when sitting down and it is bent at or more than 90°. 

Picked the singlespeed with fenders instead of the ebike with fenders. Had a good tailwind so was able to easily keep the RPMs up like i did with the black blue and gears the last few days. Maybe there'll be a tailwind for the way home too. 

I can hope right?

Kid needs a DLSR for class, school starts soon, I start looking, find something maybe not best but good, check with other kid see which one they have, they aren't using it - eventually find out camera is for spring semester, oh - well shit we'll just wait - was under the impression needed it now.

But also I really like the looks and the features in the Olympus OM-D E-M10 Mark IV, there's a Mark III in the refurb store that caught my eye, I mean the M5 on with the weatherproofing sounds even better but still. Yeah I'm an Oly fanboy and still would like to get the Leica Q2 mono but hey for now I'll just keep shooting with the phone that I don't use as a phone. 

Oh as far as open taps click through and actually read this one caught my eye today... https://cyclingindependent.com/an-open-letter-to-katie-compton-fans/

Also faceplace told me that today was the first ride on the new MTB, that is now the old MTB... funny how it didn't take long to turn me into a dirtback MTBr but hey bikes, who know MTBs were that much fun?

I should probably get out for a ride this weekend just so i don't forget how to ride it.

heddwch

G

transformation of memories

Reading - never know when you'll stumble on something that wakes up some long dormant emotion 

Here’s to nights at the local trailhead where tailgates lay flat and people mill about in various states of spandex. Here’s to the awkward four-way stops that are part-and-parcel of the human condition and mornings spent drinking stale coffee on that one friend’s stoop. Here’s to inventing new swear words while searching for that stupid clip we always drop when changing out our disc brake pads, and to perfectly mediocre mid-ride peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Life it strange like that, we move on, but recall moments that were magic. 

 brief... 

 but good

Drinking morning coffee on a friend's stoop, or on their porch.

That's the one that hit me sideways just now.

Porch coffee in the morning, watching the world, from that spot, go to work. A coffee pot that never poured cleanly. 

Good memories now, not always. 

Funny that, it was a good ritual. Perhaps one I need to find new friends to start a new ritual with... maybe not a porch, maybe a bench, maybe not a pot but maybe just a thermos. But like life it'll happen organically, can't force it, forced is strained...

Solitary is fine but not the same, there is something more in the sharing of the ritual that is lost when it isn't a shared experience.

May have Birthday ride sorted, fingers crossed for good weather and fun times. 

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch

G

flat tires and observations

 you may or may not have noticed following along on the social medias that a CX pro has had 4 flats in their last 4 races, two gravel two MTB...  none on the CX (no cx yet).

got me thinking first - plugs? Dyna plug or stans? I know we've bailed many people out riding using them, even succesffully getting a snakebite tubeless tire to hold air with two plugs.

It takes time tho, and sometimes doesn't work well. how to fix quickly if at all otherwise?

Does prevention make a difference? I think maybe more than everything else yes?

Cush Core has saved my butt big time with the new tires on the new wheels on the new bike even when I put all that on the old bike.

I've used a pile of plugs on various tires, usually able to get home, then either leave it or patch it later.

I've used both the old and new formula bontrager sealant and stans normal and race stuff.

I have a bottle of the new Finish Line with Kevlar to try (probably going to put that in the cx mud wheels and hope to use them - one bottle is enough for one of the 3" tires but not two). 

What happens and why? 

Lots of times punctures happen because the tire slowly looses air, sometimes faster, sometimes fast enough that at the start of the ride it is fine and at the end, or well when you puncture it, it doesn't have enough. 

That's a factor based on the amount of sealant, how well it is taped, how well the valve is seated and how well and clean the bead is seated. That's really pretty much it. 

A small thorn or puncture can drop the air a tiny bit, seal up, and you may not notice, or you notice and ride it out aka Kerry W this summer. 

Analyzing and figuring out why someone got a flat 4 times in a row on Tubeless tires is basically impossible. For me I know if the tire has been sitting for days and is holding air, it should be fine. Weeks even in some cases. Other tires I notice will go down in pressure much more quickly. 

It is a system and when working it works, when it isn't working the best way to identify the problem is time. But when you fly out to a race, how much time do you have to check the tubeless setup? Not much. How do you know how well it is set up? If there are problems? Sometimes you can't tell. 

part of me really wants to reach out and help, but I'm not geographically close and help probably isn't needed and may be loaded, kind of like what Adam and I were talking about with the "Need help" vs "Y'all Good" when encountering someone working on their bike on the side of the road/path. Need Help? can be loaded and put people in a bad/negative/defensive space. Y'all good? is a way of turning that around and not imposing but still offering.

So what do you do when you get that many flats in that many races? 

me? as an obsessive overthinker mechanic and professional problem solver i'm gonna look at why, first in a passionate frustrated way then probably taking a deep breath more clinically and objectively.

What's the connection? Did I notice tire pressure going down? What kind of flats were all of them? Cuts, punctures, snake bites? Was than an indication of potential pressure loss before the race started? Tires holding air well enough for days?

I mentioned that on the rear tire I used at Great Glen. In general it would be three or four PSI down relative to the front and would lose pressure measurably over time, a long time but still there were signs it wasn't holding air as well as the front. Until mid-way through the race it seemed to figure itself out. Or maybe after that long the sealant finally worked its way to where the pressure was seeping out and sealed it up.

Finding a hole and plugging and then topping up with CO2 can be super quick, if you're practiced and everything is handy and ready to go. 

I am not a CO2 fan but I carried a plug kit and a mini-pump on the 24HOGG race in my jersey pocket. The nice thing about that race is passing through the pits every hour plus a few minutes meant not needing to carry too much on the bike or on the person. 

Still though, not knowing if the plug would have helped those 4/4 makes me wonder if that was a solution, the last couple were short local MTB races and the person had never had a flat on their MTB.

I've had a few and a few slow leaks that were caught later. 

I'm writing all this so maybe i can let go of the urge to try and figure out and solve the problem and help. It sounds incredibly frustrating, esp coming off a very frustration year as a Pro CXr. 

Fuck it has been frustrating for everyone, both in Pro life and fun life, getting paid to ride bikes or paid to do something else. not been easy...

Some people have had it easy, they tend to be very privileged and unburdened with a conscious or empathy or ethics that extend beyond making money for themselves. 

The pandemic is still happening, and by the numbers getting worse and worse, so what do flat tires matter?

Keeping them inflated can be the margin between successfully getting by and surviving and throwing it all away, or just being intensely and self-destructively frustrated. 

anyway - now that I've written it i get to internally muse if I should share the link in a direct or vague manner with the person i wish i could help... kind of thinking maybe just walk away? 

Oh and BTW - GeWilli has resorted to icing his knee. That's a really bad sign. But it feels better so yes, inflammation is the problem. Now how to fix it.

Rode the Black Blue today with the gears and tried to focus on keeping the cadence over 75... probably should spend the rest of the week doing that. 

So yeah, GeWilli - fix your own shit, you've got enough going on, stop trying to help everyone or something...

heddwch
G

Getting caught up

 Was a bit crazy lately, catching up on sleep slowly, kind of. This whole getting old thing sucks for that. Gone are the days of sleeping all day and then sleeping at night.

Almost felt like taking a second nap but buckled down, did dishes and the rest of the adult shit that needed to be done and went to be early.

Funny, I DO seem to be able to go to bed earlier. Maybe that's the bad sign. or good sign? Can't sleep in but I can go to bed early.

Was sidetracked for a bit - fount a good quote - it resonated - then had this crazy recognition that there are a lot of people I follow on the socials that don't follow back but there are still interactions at times.

Kind of funny when Resultsboy followed me on twitter, just before or after 24HOGG, can't remember, maybe after.

I really don't care but at some level that is a lie. I care a little but then stop caring. Recognize move on.

Funny, how doing that fixes a lot of shit.

The quote that started that was from last week's blog post over AHTBM 

You’re absolutely guaranteed to be dirt at some point between today, and 40-to-60 years from now, so why waste time? Get cracking on that project. Tell those who you’re sweet on that you are. Snuggle the shit out of your fuzzy buddy. Regret breeds resentment, breeds paralyzation, and with the world slowly circling the bowl anyway, as colonization, and capitalism’s big dumb corpsie sausage fingers squarely position themselves on the flush activator, I don’t see how any of us have anything to lose.

It isn't anything new but is good to hear now and then.

DC has a good one up and I'll be honest, I never read the Lorax, never really like the Seuss books ever, as a kid or now. Perhaps because I was already reading big books while people were flipping through picture books? Dunno. Aware of it? yes, the movie? sure. 

Def more of a Hayduke fan than any of the ones mentioned there. Maybe add in the Tom Brown, Tracker element of influence. 

Moving through the list there's the whole falling down.

I've eaten shit a good pile of times lately, kind of shockingly not at 24HOGG. Lots of people did eat shit but I guess if you're riding so far below your limits to pace yourself to last, well you're never near your limits. But there is also the luck and instinct side so not going slow isn't always a safe place to be. Plenty of people I know have eaten shit and been busted up crashing going slow.

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I found this to be surprisingly funny:
 

Like dunno why funny..

oh and my knee still hurts, took the weekend off and it is better but still inflamed. Kind of pissed but not made enough to dig out a bike with gears to commute on, or ride the eBike.

didn't even look at the MTBs this weekend with thoughts of riding.

but...  getting close to that one day of the year filled with more dread than any other... my birthday..

it was suggested that I tell people I'm turning 50, want to go for a stupid hard ride and would welcome any company... but then hard at my level not some fast guy, but also I'd rather be the slow one on the ride than the other way around and maybe then i should just ride by myself and not say anything to anyone. Also it is a Monday, probably no one has the day off or wants to take one off to ride with me so there's that wonderfully positive thought.

Well done dumbass. 

Oh yeah i signed up for a Beta subscription, and they went to a 75% discount (from 50)... AFTER I paid, i mean it is only a $10 difference but is kind of annoying. Well worth the price to read Mike's writing though.

Reminding me I need to dig up William Bryant's book The Veiled Pulse of Time and review the chapter on the 7 year cycle. 

Close in on the end of mine. Looking back at these last 7 years. What has happened in them and how I got to where I am today and that i'm about to embark on my 8th cycle. Sure it sounds pretty flaky and weird and shit but, there are more cyclical rhythms than just the sun and moon.

was talking with someone about this over lunch, how there's a lot more to humans than straight up science has addressed, medicine too, and hanging out under that umbrella is mental health, sure brain sciences are working on saying all yall with extra synapses, we're putting you on the spectrum... understanding the morphology is easy, understanding the rest not so much.
https://tommonte.com/the-7-year-cycles-of-life/

https://www.institute4learning.com/2012/08/07/the-stages-of-life-according-to-rudolf-steiner/

https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/seven-year-cycles-another-way-of-looking-at-development/

shit - this has been lingering too long,,, 

remember, Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch
G

part 2 and the full 24HOGG race report

 Finally?    

Maybe. So Friday right? 

Day before. Tent and campsite all set up, met the neighbors saw some friends. Saw Todd, he said that ROBB BAUER was racing. That was exciting. Haven't seen him in a long time.

I eat, drink, but not quite enough and maybe too much water, it was hot. but Eventually I get out for a course preview. Put the gopro on and head out. Feels boring at first. Oddly so but also I know that it will be a good thing as the race progresses.

I've got the new shoes on, the ones I've been wearing, everything feels okay, I'm fresh and ride everything, but BUT there are a two spots that peg me into the red. actually I wonder, I might have even walked on the dirt on the other side of the house above blueberry hill. But only that spot. guess I could check the strava for speed. But anyway Rideable in pre-ride though spiking the HR towards max is not sustainable for the whole race. Whole point for solo is to keep those spikes super low to non-existent. Energy demands are more important to manage than anything else. Cranking the HR to the max once or twice a lap for 24 hours straight is a good way to not make it through.... I mean it is possible but it is also something I wanted to try and avoid. That and seeing as I had no shifting it was kind of a yo-yo effect with some people. I'd walk where they were spinning and catch and pass them on the not quite as steep hills or have to slow down behind them on the single track downhills. No I generally didn't do the flying Colin past people, i'd chill and be patient and pass them when I could. Very different racing on a 4 person team than solo...

Got the lap done and my knee hurt. Like kind of how it had been all week. So I put on my spare shoes, the destroyed ones... knee felt instantly better just riding a few hundred yards around. Guess the new shoes become backup shoes. I still need to work on that cleat position. And put the new ones into service.

There was a lot more climbing. I think i said out loud that if I had had a chance to pre-ride it before the day before I would have tried to sell/give away/bail on the race, that was a lot of elevation, esp on a singlespeed. Super happy about picking the 34-22. And the smaller tires, although the cush core added a lot of weight it was nice on all the rocks out there. That and I had a bit of pressure drift a few times. Felt squirrelly at 17 and really squirrelly at 15.5. Didn't plan on running that  low pressure. But honestly that pressure felt perfect on the single track, but terrifying on the double track. But the ToPeak Joe Blow Pro Digital totally crushed it and made dialing it all in perfect...  topped up the tires only twice during the race, oddly the last time the pressure was still spot on. maybe the sealant finally found the gap and filled it.

Finished pre-ride, packet pickup was open by then, got my bag, number and figured out how to put it all on. Went around and checked in on ToddP and to see if ROB BAUER had made it (he was trying to get his EV to the charging station at the hotel, he was 200 yards shy of having enough electrons to do so). Todd invited me back for pizza. Lesli and I headed around over to chat with Ronnie and RyanL and headed back. Ate food, relaxed, eventually I headed back to check see if pizza was ready - had a slice (oh man it was so good) laughed and chatted with those guys for a bit then headed back and started settling down. Tried to fall asleep early. Listened to a little more of the book on tape but then just eventually turned that and my phone off and tried to sleep. with the phone off tho I wasn't sure what time it was, other than it felt like I had just laid down. It was dark though and I had to pee. unzip the tent, unzip the rain fly, shuffle over to the porta potty, shuffle back, climb in, zip the rain fly, zip the screen, climb back on the cot and have a sip of water and fall back asleep...  only to wake up a few hours (or more, no idea, wish i had not turned the phone off so I would know what time it was) having to pee. It was hot, I drank a ton of water/fluids that night before bed. 

This time my legs cramped up and since I can't stand up in the tent it made the exit awkward. As in I didn't fully get the tent door unzipped and tried to straighten up and stand up as I unzipped the rain fly and only managed to trip and fall into the back of my EZ-up tent wall and smash my left knee into the floor pump on the other side. Made a hell of a racket. Woke lesli up in the tent next door. Headed back to the portapotty, but wanted to get some pickle juice to kill this cramp. there were two bikes leaning against the cooler with the grillos in it. I'm like fuck someone's gonna hear the bikes moving and think someone is stealing bikes in the middle of the night. I tried to move them quietly, but I think Lesli also heard that, and got the pickle juice and then climbed back into the tent and slept until the sun was blazing in the valley (about 6:30). I tried using the mask as an eye shield to sleep longer but I couldn't fall back asleep. 

So I got up, had some coffee, ate the muesli, and other food and started getting the pre-race stuff sorted. Making plans with Lesli for sandwiches, bottles, and the like. Sorted out what I'd carry with me (mini-hand pump and plug kit) and generally got ready. Headed to the riders meeting at 10:30, headed over to the start just before noon. Lined up in the back, I'm not a runner, the lap around the pond was going to suck so I just plodded along. Took the gopro along and recorded the lap (haven't looked at the footage yet), should have taken the wahoo with me but no i'm a dummby leave it on the bike sure good idea. Of course it powered down and Lesli only noticed that just as I got there so I waited a few extra seconds for the GPS fix to happen and then we headed out.

There was a MAJOR fuck up with the start loop. we were supposed to go straight, bypassing the narrow bridge and the two moguls. That would have sent us right out on the course and not back past the start for a while. But someone sent us left right into singletrack (tight) then into more technical uphill singletrack (tighter) and basically we walked that because it was too congested. And then were stuck behind slow people on the high bank bermed swoopy downhill stuff.

Back to the start finish - yellow brick road was still closed maybe? or maybe I said NOPE because there was a line of 8 people already on it and I was sketched out by it.

Through the tent, back out on course and starting (for real) the full lap. I did this with one bottle, had pre-hydrated pretty well and felt it would work. It kind of did. I was out of fluid by the time I got back but it was all good. Skipped the bridge again I think, or maybe that was the one time I did ride it. And half way across the bridge tilted and my back wheel slipped and I was like a whisker away from falling in the water. I saved it, but fuck that - scared me even more. I mean I was riding the blueberry hill bridges that were 1/4 the width w/o a problem but they weren't tippy. 

There were not many others that skipped the yellow bridge every lap. It added a good 60 seconds per lap. Insignificant but only just barely. Sure over the 15 laps that adds up, should i have sucked it up and ridden it again and overcome my fear? Probably but I didn't. I'm okay with that, I don't have anything to prove.

Second lap, 2 miles in, or so, on one of the bumpy rocky sections I felt a change in the seat, like that should have happened, and then shortly after that i heard and felt something shift majorly. Something broke on the saddle. I stopped and fuck. 

Saddle rails snapped totally clean. Not even at the stress riser at the clamp. They snapped about a cm in front. The front half fell out somewhere, lost out there. And while i could put a little weight on the saddle any shifting or bouncing and the saddle came off the rails and I had 4 really sharp pokey bits where a saddle should be. NOT GOOD.

Had to stop three or four times to re-attach the saddle, maybe more. Fortunately the seat clamp mech had held because i was riding w/o tools. Losing those parts would mean no dropper post and that would have REALLY sucked.

But also what sucked was riding 7 miles basically standing up, 2 laps into the race.

THAT and the spare saddle I had was a saddle i have never ridden. One of the ones that came on one of the bikes I've gotten that I have always immediately swapped out for a Concor. It was indeed one of the new concors that broke. Ugh. I guess nearly 2k miles on a hardtail MTB under the butt of a 225 singlespeeder on the rocks and roots of New England is too much for these saddles.

Swapped the new seat on pretty quickly, ate a sandwich (Ham, smoked turkey, cheese, mayo and dijon on whole wheat) drank a bottle, took a bottle, ate a pickle drank a bit of the pickle juice took too more of the Christin/Lindsey flourless cookies and headed back out.

Hmm something isn't right with the saddle. It is too far back, the dropper doesn't go down smoothly. It is too tall, knee doesn't like it. 

Fix both of those issues on the next lap pit stop, didn't eat a sandwich but drank an extra bottle. Might have taken two bottles that time.

When it was hot i went to two bottles of gatorade endurance per lap. I never drank plan water, not once. When it cooled down i cut back to carrying one. One quart of pickles and juice lasted the whole race, there was nothing left in the container at the end. No juice, no pickles, just some garlic and a grape leaf.

At some point I got tired of the chocolate peanut butter cookies and busted into the fruit snack cache that Lesli brought. I ate a tone of those for three or four laps and then oof sugar belly kicked in and I went back to cookies. I think there was a total of 8 sandwiches eaten. Plus one lap where I ate a roll of ham and cheese only. I did drink a bit of kefir before the race and finished it at some point maybe in the early morning pit laps. Coffee? I packed Liters of cold coffee that i made.

4 big nalgene bottles of it. One bottle a day basically. I never had more than a few swallows of it during the pit stops and I stopped drinking it all together at about 1 am, maybe 2am. Resumed once the sun came up.

I guess at one point the tent blew away and everyone around helped to get it back in place and extra stakes were acquired and the sides were removed. There was a good storm that moved through at one point. We got wet, I rode through the wet then it started to dry out but two laps of riding in wet shorts and the chamois shifted and was started to irritate my inner thigh with a few miles left in the lap.

At that point I did a full wardrobe change, a longer stop but a good one, I actually had to pee a few times, and each time the color stayed lighter than the lemon lime gatorade. Changed into dry good shorts, re-applied some anti-fungal cream just in case, then a good coating of bag balm, got dressed in the dark (naked in the tent except for my ass being lit up by the riders across the pond). Who cares I was not going to try and do that in the tent that I couldn't stand up in. 

The lights worked out great. One of the bar, one on the helmet. Swapped a few times, never lost power, wahoo almost made it 24 hours w/o being charged, it still fucked up the GPS track, but thanks to the wheel sensor I recorded all the miles.

I was really looking forward to the highland pipes at sunrise, but that didn't happen this year. It was a bummer. Soon Dave Harris joined me, he had stomach issues in the night and stopped and took a nap, along with most everyone else. Not me. I would come in, stop for 10-15 minutes, eat, take shoes off, drink coffee, pickle juice, change socks, whatnot. Lap after lap.

I also didn't want to know what place I was in. I just wanted to ride my race internally, race against myself. But Syl said he thought I'd do 9 laps, Burke said 11 so I knew i had to do at least 12. And I mentioned that I don't want to know anything about placing till I hit lap 12. And then I only wanted to know how many laps in front of the next person I was. 

Chatted with Dave about that one lap and he said it was good but maybe worth looking just to see.

I didn't look and well after lap 12 just about to start 13, I found out I was in 3rd. a few laps up on 4th and one or two laps behind 2nd. 

Well shit. Guess I have to keep riding. Or walking. Had some good chats during the 24 hours with other racers, people were always supportive and Colin passed me a bunch and always had something to say, like one time "Hey Geoff, you know what's better than riding 24 hours solo singlespeed? EVERYTHING" 

Not a lie.

The rain made the wooden bridges slippery but the SE4 tires gripped them soooooooo well. They might be heavy but they were magic, never wanting for traction. Lots of walking. LOTS of it. Well really only three spots. The long drag up blueberry hill past the house, the singletrack in the woods early and then the final single track that we walked on the screwed up pre-ride.

Wasn't going that much slower than those riding it while i was walking. Slower? yes, not that much.

Got lap 14 done, it was 10:30 or so, when I came through the tent i checkwith the scoring, how many laps had I done (14 had started 15) how many had 4th done (10? but on the 11th) should i go out for another, yes, there's a small chance they could ride fast enough to pass me but if I just did one I easily would lock up 3rd place. I saw it on the printed results and on the screen. Clear as could be. NICE! HOLY SHIT PODIUM!

So I stopped at the pits, cleaned up, put sunscreen on, put clean kit on, re-applied the bagbalm and took a shit (all in the portapoty) hey baby wipes are SUPER KEY btw. Also alcohol wipes do a really good job of removing blue lizard sunscreen. 

I put the GoPro on the helmet, loaded up with waterbottles and headed out for the final lap. It was the same as the rest of them. Colin went flying by, the BikeregShare coffee team was full of encouragement and support the rest of the people out there were awesome. 

Made it back around and slowed down and timed it so that I was the first one to cross the line after the cannon went off.

Got cleaned up, ate food, put sunscreen back on, washed my hair with one of Austin's big water jugs (felt awesome) and we prepared for awards ceremony at 2pm. Lesli had gone to get my car from the remote parking lot, and we had started to sort things around.

Headed over to awards. It was getting exciting. Solo Singlespeed (YES) First place, (the fast bicycling mag sponsored dude who had been leading the whole time) Second place ( a skinny kid from VT riding a super light tall geared SSMTB) and then Third Place DAVE HARRIS... wait... what the fuck?

I was sitting with all the other singlespeeders. Dave was in 5th, Shawn was 4th and I was 3rd, we all looked around that was fucking wrong, Dave didn't know what to do so he just went up, told them it was wrong, they carried on w/o flinching. It sucked, it was rough.

Of course I finished the race and had found the wifi and the first text was from Solobreak telling me about the death of Evan. 

So it was all somewhat in perspective but still sucked. 

Before the results were over they seemed to recognize the mistake and fixed it and called me up. Alone, gave me a medal (I gave them back Daves that he had given me) but the moment was gone.

It is okay. But still stings a little.

I packed, organized and all the rest after, lesli headed home (unwisely) neither of us had slept since 6:30 the morning before...  I got things sorted, ate more food, chatted with John as he packed up, then with everything sorted and buttoned down walked over and hung out with the Clark Brothers racing team, had a few slices of pizza, eventually wandered back to the tent, laid down (for the first time since early Saturday morning) and tried to fall asleep...  my back was sore but nothing else was too bad. 

Eventually maybe 9pm I fell asleep...  got up to pee once...  sun came up, drank coffee, ate food, slowly packed up. planned to wait until the beer store opened (it was erroneously listed as opening at 10 - it was open before that) but also waiting for the morning coffee to do the thing and then use the portapotty one last time. But they came to clean them up and haul them away before I could take a shit.

Oh well.

So I left, headed home, stopped to get beer as thank you for those who loaned me the lights, stopped for a bathroom break. Then stopped at Hooksett rest area (where I thought i had lost my wallet 2 hours earlier when I stopped for the bathroom - that was 10 minutes of fucking panic - not enough gas to get home or back to where i stopped to look for it - but i found it and all was okay). 

Made it home, slept like shit because I was still a little sore and tired, went to work and well the rest you know eh?

There were a bunch of other little stories, like stopping in the night to help someone look for their inflator in the dark. 

But I think that's kind of the whole big picture.

It worked. Surprisingly well. The planning was good, lucky with the campsite, super lucky to have Lesli there to help, hydration was awesome, never cramped once, food was good, hungry a few times and lots of variety that I didn't even dip into but was there in case my stomach shifted.

The bike worked, but the fork needs servicing and the dropper post might be trashed. But the chainlube was awesome (finish line cross country lube mixed up ala GeWilli style)

And I finished 3rd, and I'm pretty stoked with that. I also left a lot out there. If I hadn't stopped for so long every single lap I could have gotten at least 4 more laps in, something for next time eh?

Okay - i'm gonna wrap this up, it is hot up here and the laptop is really hot. 

ask questions...  i'll try and go over this later and see what I might have missed and add to follow up posts.

I have NOT ridden the MTB since, although it was just last weekend so that's not surprising. Need to get the Top Fuel back together, need to sort out the seat post there. probably swap droppers to be honest. 

But not right now. maybe a good project for the week. or friday.

heddwch
G

interlude

 I was listening to the new Cercle on utoob went back to the home screen to see what it might reccomend...

this

"They don't need your sympathy. What they need is an opportunity." 

What opportunities are you creating, how are you leveraging your privilege to help others.

I'm sure you're already doing something, it is valuable and worthy to take a second and recognize it and affirm to yourself that you're doing good.

Days like today are tough.

I got some good sleep but still fucking exhausted and this morning has been a challenge from the start.

I forgot it is the last day for one of the only other people I see regularly at work, there are lots of people here but mostly they are transient phantoms - i teach them how to use stuff and set them loose... this person was also one of the few who was here on the same floor for a good part of the last year. 

Changes eh?

Life moves on.

will pick up where i left off, hopefully soon. I think i have the laptop working again so i won't have to type on the mini keyboard. But will still probably fall asleep before finishing it.

y'all be good, do good, make opportunities for others

amor fati motherfuckers

G

24 HOGG 2021 part 1 of...

 So where were we? No where. Left off with the car mostly packed and loaded and everything ready and all that. 

Found out camping spaces were first come, so that changed the morning mindset and got me up at about 5am on Friday, made an attempt to leave by 6am but didn't get rolling until 6:30am. Why? First come, I wanted one of those coveted spots on the course, or at least to be able to pick a good spot. There's lots of strategy and different ones. 

Drive up was bearable, listened to the second book in a series I wasn't sure i was going to keep listening to. Did a quick stop at the Hooksett rest area for bladder relief, and then drove straight there. Got there at 10:30-10:45...  found the solo side, rolled in and pulled in next to a guy setting stuff up. Quiet but confident and well equiped set up already. I started kind of hap-hazzardly tossing shit out of the car in the sun, put up the EZ up first, realized I didn't look for all the big spikes that I had, oops. Lesli rolls in shortly after with the rest of the stuff, chairs and table and snacks and whatnot.

I eat, drink, stay not hungry, try to conserve energy, get things sorted and organized and set up the cot in the tent. Put the sides up on the EZup to make some shade. Manage to stay out of the sun then put sun screen on and keep from getting any sort of sunburn over the whole weekend of being outside in the sun (remarkable for a pale ginger dude).

Austin shows up later, sets up to the right of me, John on the left me then Austin. Austin heads off. We're all racing solo, those two in the 41+ group, me in the singlespeed. 

Stuff happens, I see Alex J and Catherine S and Christin R, eventually kit up and go inspect the course. Stick the GoPro on for the lap and start pedaling. 

<intermission>

Last night I went to pick  up my brother from Logan, he and the family were flying back from Seattle, their  car was in PVD, flights were delayed and it was Boston or late today. So I went to get them. The 10:30 flight suddenly became  an 11:15 arrival, checked bags later we were driving away from Logan at 11:40. Managed NOT to wind up in the bus service lot, and headed south  on 93. So any of you that have done this know what summer in NE means on the roads. 

Construction.

I was already tired and didn't get to bed until 2pm. Between construction, dropping  them at the car at TF Green, and driving home it was late.

And today was tough, I'm still trying to recover from the not sleeping for 40 hours thing, and the emotional toll on top of physical toll, and having to go to work today was tough. And now I can't keep my  eyes open writing. I tried to use the big laptop but the pain in the ass is doing the bitlocker thing again and I gave up and am crowding my fingers on the tablet. Hindsite maybe I should have brought this with me and just typed up the weekend while I was  there. 

next time...

now i'm going to wrap it up and close this up and try and get some sleep...

heddwch
G

Race report

 gonna have to wait

busy as fucking can be

busted scopes

last ditch last person on the call list for pick up in boston late tonight was me the guy who didn't sleep for 40 hours this weekend

and general fatigue

and other news http://nebra.us/evan-barr-beare-1988-2021/ yeah i worked with him, not directly but have talked he wrote this last december: https://aroundonbikes.com/get-there-evan-barr-beares-car-less-life/ 

Sars Cov-2 is raging, the planet it literally on fire, KFC got popped for doping (I believe she is innocent but maybe someone deliberately gave her something to help her performance that would benefit them but w/o her knowledge).

The results of the race were messed up and I didn't get to stand on the podium with the first and second place in the singlespeed solo race... feels pretty minor now. 

There was a lot this weekend.

Check IG for a few posts there with some words I wrote (highlights too)

i will get it written up here.

being offline from Friday early until Sunday after the race was good - managed to break a few digital habits. When a streak gets broken, that's the best time to not start a new one.

So here I am, headed home early. Still tired. Will have a sip or two of coffee when I get home, make dinner, put my feet up and head to Boston. 

Maybe tomorrow i'll have time to sit down and write.

ahhahah

that's funny

but this needs to be written up before i forget everything

heddwch
G

well getting there

 mostly loaded, food is made, bailing on making the breakfast sandwiches/omelet pockets, may make some for the drive tomorrow, but did make 6 quarts of soupy pasta goodness. have cold cuts and sandwich makings (ala Michigan coast to coast) working on making enough coffee for the weekend. 

Lots of cookies, stroop waffles and the like. 

car has everything but the clothes food and pillow. Test fit the cooler in a spot in there (while it was empty). Still actually room for a passenger (and maybe their stuff if they aren't bringing much). 

Feeling more rested than I have, making it a focus of the week has been productive. 

Knee is still kind of wonky. We'll see. could be disaster, could be non-issue.

Lights, power, spare parts, pump, work stand...  all loaded and ready to go. Just have to pack the cooler, load the bike and head north.

I feel like maybe i need to make more food, but there are places to purchase food...  

Rain looks like it'll be moving in early, like with sunrise on Sunday. T'storms even. Will make things interesting.  And looks like it will make everything wet for the whole day Sunday and into monday. loading wet shit into a car, ooof i'm gonna need to detail it yikes. 

Weather could change between now and then anyway. It is New England afterall.

Resting right now. Probably should finish finding all the wearable bib shorts I have, and pack the other clothes and stuff. 

Oh well, we'll see what happens eh? 

planning is coming together

hopefully there's enough stuff to make it work

not bringing any word writing devicess, updates might be only on IG till i get back, or text for status, will try and respond.

heddwch
G

not supposed

 to be tired

yesterday was a doozy of a day - mentally exhausting then physically drawn out and unsettled.

Back muscle locking up kept me up the night before but one bike ride sorted that out and it is all good (don't take 3 days off the bike and expect not to have shit fall apart - note to self).

Tired. Really tired. Might see if I can cut out early.

But things are still coming together. Light run times getting dialed. Have backup USB charging ports ready lots of Whrs for the usb charging ones.

This is the tired I'd normally make a second pot of coffee for, but nope, not this time. Def not this time.

This is good. I keep forgetting that Lisa graduated from Brown.

I may or may not have bought that album from '94

Had some fun thoughts about not surviving 24HOGG, that's always sort of sobering. Even when you're sober.

EP took out the protected bike lane. Shit's back to normal, aka not good. 

Here's another feel good story to follow the reminder that most humans are fucking selfish reactionary turds:

*(hat tip to AHTBM aka Stevil for sharing this)

Been thinking about tires for 24HOGG - wondering if I set up the spare wheels with the XR2s or maybe do a swap over and put the XR2s on the carbon hoops with the cush core. Maybe just do it there after pre-ride and stop thinking about it and just bring the shit I need to do it all with me. (Yes dumbass do that thing). 

Today's another one for kind of getting off on the wrong foot. Usually I don't hear E get up on T and Th for early AM crew practice but this morning I heard alarm at 4:45 and noted it was still fucking dark. Then at 5:15 when the door opened and closed and then locked (not as dark) and then oh shit kid is headed out the door i meant to get up and make sure they were all set... up and wow felt like crap.

Started this way too long ago, still working on it. 

Kid is at home and wants to make these cookies: http://www.gewilli.com/2021/03/no-flour-peanut-butter-cookies.html

I might have extra good fuel for the weekend!

Gotta get there intact first.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

Heddwch
G

3 days off the bike?

 Like completely. 

Busy but attempted to be low key.

Things coming together.

I have a pit crew! I have lights (most of the ones loaned to me actually even work!)

Tent works and cot is actually pretty comfy (if bulky).

Spent the day putzing around gathering things, organizing parts and tools, spares and putting cleats on the new old XC-7 shoes. Knee is still not perfect, but not bad, maybe the old floppy worn and sloppy shoes and cleats were causing additional layers of problems. 

Warranty started on the wheel. 

So much to do and so many broken microscopes and the whole virtual conference that I have to attend this week...

Def feeling more rested but still not at 100% yet. Taking thursday off to do the final grocery shopping and cook everything and start loading the car. Then heading up to NH on friday morning.

Then race all weekend. Then back at it here.

Also signed up for GP Beverly (formerly Gloucester CX - same promoter different location, only one day). Race is full now, and I'm in it with a big pile of really fast old dudes. Guess I should start working on CX soon. Bike is pretty solid, although I should really get a 11-28 cassette on there... sigh 10sp 11-28? do they exist? maybe I'll actually get a chance to use the mud tires this year...

Got busy - left this hanging- had a pile more shit to say but there's no time.

maybe later,

be well

Amor Fati Motherfuckers
heddwch
G

almost unscathed

 Made it through the race this past weekend... bike died but fixed it.

Body did great... except...

lingering bit of knee inflamation. Subpatellar still, right knee. Been painful since new bike. Not worse than before but I did smash it once and added some extra.

And then got a wee bit of perineal abrasion. Damnit. Those shorts are cursed I tell ya. Oh well so much for team kit. to be clear I hadn't worn those for rides longer than three hours. They were fine. Not for 9+ hours (washed in the middle) in back to back days.

Getting that healed is going to be more important that any rides I do this weekend. And the other thing?

I'm still tired. working hard to keep coffee intake low but it is tough. Knee is good as long as I don't sit for too long. Had to sit down for a minute while i did very little to help my brother install the two new windows. Home triage. Been talking about doing these windows for 4+ years now, he's headed to WA to see everyone, wanted to get it done before then. Tired. Then after cleaning up it was late, bailed and just ordered takeout for dinner.

This next week and a few days are going to be tough.

Wanted to ride the e-bike today but am worried about creating the inflamation from the too short cranks. So well...  shurg, big old orange singlespeed commuter it is.

Still need to make a list of shit to pack. 

Was thinking this morning... I want to have a table there. like some place to put shit on, even if it isn't super stable or level, just a flat fucking surface. I don't have one.

And a camp light. Like do i want to use headlight lumens to find shit at night at the camp? No. I don't. 

have to figure out the rear wheel too. I'm anxious about heading up without at least a backup wheelset. 

sigh

funny how the one thing i'm not worried about (even though maybe I should be) is the pedaling part.

that's funny

most people kind of gravitate to that ridiculous fact first and go, WHAT? you're doing WHAT?

Yeah i'm riding all that AND i have to do it all self supported. Like make my own sandwiches and fill my own fucking waterbottles. Go stand in line for food after the race starts? hahahahah yeah that's not gonna happen.

9 mile course tho...  we'll see how long it takes for a lap. haven't seen an elevation profile but there are elevation lines on the map. 

Solo solo as in unsupported is just not set up well for this - but whatever - i'll figure it out, i won't be alone up there and well i do everything alone anyway... what's different about this? Well i'm over 4 hours from home and have to make sure i bring everything i need...

and i'm getting concerned about the list of shit i don't have and need to get sorted before then.

oh and speaking of

triggers

"you got this"

works for some people, very motivating and powerful for them.

it is my fucking kryptonite. 

"you got this" and my head says "do i have any choice? of course i do but i'm fucking last and slow and struggling or whever else is goting on"
"you got this" at work and i'm all like BUT WHY, i feel overworked and under appreciated and literally burned out because, why? BECAUSE I GOT THIS.

I know "I got this" i got here with the choices I made and it is what it is and yes I'm full on Amor Fati this shit but still, trigger words are tough to rewire the brain about.

Yeah i know "shrug it off, it is meant with all the positivity and encouragment the tone of the person gave the words" try rewiring your brain, it ain't easy and I'm working on it but man i realized lately that when i'm racing and people say stuff like that or when i'm last or obviously struggling "you're doing awesome" NO I AM NOT 

i do have to remember i chose to do this and the perspective from the other side of the tape is different and i need to see more from those eyes than the jaded ones in my head.

heard this song on the 'radio' the other day...  forgot how hold it is, but not how much i related to it

man i'm gonna be 50 soon and am still fucked up from low self esteem and lack of confidence

The more you suffer the more it shows you really care... 

I need to focus on the fact that I feel good about the bike pedaling part. That's not the easy part. The rest of the shit is the easy part. 

But then would I be me? Maybe.

Okay - cobbled together lunch has been eaten (too tired to make dinner means no left overs) have to make dinner tonight, there's a ton of food in the fridge but not much that doesn't need prep. Ah the life of living with the basic ingredients not the premade stuff. So lunch done, time to go back to the scheduling and sorting of everything.

yay schedule juggling.

yeah i know

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

day two of the big stage race

 So, you know all those fancy courses out there? Fast flowy? Yeah this isn't that. You know Freetown right? That has a few rocks but they are small and in a few spots, the rest is pretty not technical. And that's considered  a technical race. Most of the people showing up at Jim's races know what they are getting into. They are hard, old school, tight, punchy short hills, the most technical rocky trails. 

Few people actually ride this kind of stuff all the time.

And here I am the guy who HATED mtbs so much that i avoided them completely from 2009 to 2019. Sure in 2009 i was riding bike tech from 1996 on trails that were about as poorly suited to the bike as could be. Rim brakes, 26" wheels, insane amount of drop from saddle to the bars. 

In short it wasn't fun. So I packed it in and went all in on CX, heck that's where I was by 07 or so, dabbled in a few road races, but pretty much all CX. in '12 i started the whole ride all day (to boston) rides. Then eventually set out to join the NECX HOTM club and did. In the process burning me the fuck out of bikes. It has been crazy this path and journey. 

And here I am not quite 2 years into riding MTBs as much as I can. 

Raced the Freetown 50 right after getting the bike. Did the Wicked Nor'easter when the wheel exploded, then everything paused and I just rode and rode and rode and here I am first race back. Day one i survived but the bike exhibited some annoying problems. Fixed them that evening and went back out in the rain today.

Yesterday's climbing was 3,068 ft, over 36 miles. today was 2,664 over 21.74 miles. 

I went out slowly today but also with an easier gear on the bike. Walked some but was encouraged that when I could or needed to or felt like it i could put as much power down as i wanted to and have it move the bike. No protests. No dropped chains.

HR data shows I did a better job of staying the middle to lower zones (the plan) and I didn't get lapped. 

And it didn't really rain much. But it wasn't too hot. Second lap i felt better and rode a bit harder, worried I'd get caught I pushed it more, but then third lap, last guy going into the woods for the lap. All alone. Was still good.

Three tough laps. Lots of climbing. 

A good bit of walking but i feel like it was a pretty good two day prep.

The last lap the not eating or drinking as much i think played a little havoc and started to cramp a bit in my back. Back def sore, upper shoulder blade muscles were the crampy ones. So i ate a sleeve of those salty cliff blocks, finished one of the bottles, and then finally was able to ride dead people cleanly (ALONE FINALLY).

Ate another sleeve later on while walking up to the overlook/chairs. 

Legs and knees feel good tho. Tired but not bad.

time to recover and plan and collect all the shit i need.

def kind of more anxious about doing this truly solo w/o support. 

last time my dad came up and while he mostly hung out he was def supportive and helped... 

Had a weird dream with him last night. He was directing people around standing up and talking and being a bit happy and way out of character talkative like he was excited about what was pending, the pending was an actual surprise party for my big birthday and he had arranged for someone i never thought would show up to my party and it was just the best, i don't remember the gift because  in my dream it was just a gift to have them there and to have my dad actually coordinate it and know. Kind of surreal. 

so who knows what next month will bring...  torn between doing nothing and downplaying it or something else. But what. Who knows. not me right now.

and i'm okay with that..

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch
G

Now? really?

Single speed has been great till today. The bike that is. No problems. 

Today? the loudest SNAP as one of the pawls skips on the second climb the super punchy one after the long steady climb. I jump off, tighten the Thru Axle that usually fixes it, it is still really tight... fuck...  bad sign

BANG again later. Fuck. Not even the steepest punchy bits. I listen and it isn't making a normal rhythm. Sounds off.

Fuck.

Okay fine.

About that time I'm chasing people and riding hard and look down, fuck...

156... we aren't climbing anymore... Damnit...

I need to settle and chill and relax and pace myself. Syl said it himself "pace yourself" okay fuck. I better chill. Then everyone passes me. AWESOME.

actually it was fine. Had a few  people in sight for most of the time, swapped bottles at the first aid station pass through headed out at some point through Barbie Melissa S started closing the gap. I basically had to walk/jog all the hills, couldn't pedal. 

Was frustrating. Eventually at some point I got ahead of her was riding with a bunch of the cat 2 people (not many of them actually caught me so that's a good sign) through dead people (the opposite way from when I smashed my head) but I rode it as cleanly as I ever had, except for the uphills,  had to pre-emptively run them. it was  frustrating.

They caught back up to me (the cat 2s) and then I schooled them on the next section and was held up by them all the way to the aid station where Liz told me Melissa was right in front when I asked if i was the last and she said there was one person... damnit...  but what? She didn't pass me on the trail i was riding. Oh well one of us either added or subtracted something> I thought I was on course the whole time but who knows.

I was the only one headed on the Cat 1 loop at that point. Just me. Finally got to the Hopkins hill lot  where Wacko was helping people cross and he said "melissa is right there go get her" and I did, and we rode together and I waited for her three or four times, i shouldn't have right? but she was hurting and I thought it better to wait. Then I dropped my chain again. Did I mention that? Chain dropped. WHAT?

yeah so last night i thought the tension was TOO tight. lets make it a tiny bit loser. Dumbass.

Chain dropped a couple times (3) following/leading melissa and all three times she just rode away, and I eventually caught back up. The 2 track straight away at the end? on the single speed? the high  cadence was threatening to cramp up my legs. 

Then I got off and ran the punchy shit at the end. and finished. 

slowly. but good 24 hour pace. Which is what I had planned. I ate and drank and did a good job  with that. 

Got home, ate, drank, then started working on the bike. Swapping wheels over from the Top Fuel to the Stache. Swapped disc rotors and put the single cog on there. Totally dissasembled the dropouts and reset the chain tension (had to go with shorter chain, the one link longer  one I had made for the 22 is too long for the drop out range, so slammed it all the way forward and used the shorter chain. 

And promptly broke my 1/8" torque wrench. Get to see what the lifetime warranty means at Harbor Freight soon. 

All sorted out chain properly tight did a test ride cranked it hard on the tiny hill i  could find, hopped a log, bike feels good with the little tires and the easier gear. Means dropping top speed down a MPH or three but whatever. Should be much better for the hills Jim will throw at us. 

Hub sounds good. Now to see if i can warranty it or just have to swap freehub bodies. ANOYING

but whatever...  bike is ready for round 2. Gonna order some of those springs from McMaster and see if that plus and overhaul/cleaning of the FH body fixes it. 

Also going with a different thru axle. The DT swiss style seems ever so slightly oversized and binds on the non-drive side, i think maybe making the situation worse. There's no 6 mm insert on the drive side to help tighten it down. 

So bike is ready. I finally got showered. ate a fuck ton of pizza have been drinking water, feeling okay but tired. Almost like if I kept riding it would be good. '

or that's the hope. 

okay  so that's the race report or something...  it was long...  Strava says i burned 3,800+  calories...  maybe i'll eat more pizza.

should help keep salt levels high and avoid cramping, right?

Oh and it is going to rain tomorrow.

another reason to put the SE 4 tires/wheels  on .... much stickier in the wet.

I'll probably be DFL again and hopefully not lapped by too many people but hey, it is what it is and this is doing what I had hoped it would. So that's perfect all around.

Better to have the bike be the problem than the body. 

The course was just as awesome as it was last times i rode it (not a race) and it is much easier to follow with arrows!

heddwch
G

DAMN KNEES

 Remember? The Top Fuel needed a 170mm dropper, measured with 175mm cranks? 

And going to 180s meant what? I needed to drop the post 5mm.

Remember how much I could drop the post?

not even 1mm

way way back

knee pain from saddle too high (sub patellar tendon to be specific) 

May be time to rebuild the post on the Stache and move it to the Top Fuel and swap the 170 over to where i can drop it low enough to keep that pedal distance correct. 

So keeping track: cranks smaller than 180 and my right side of my lower back gets so fucked I can't stand up in the morning or put pant or anything on my legs/feet w/o sitting down. 

Seat height higher than that certain number (1000mm) and my knees complain. 

Pretty tolerant of everything else.

Also I killed the cadence battery in the Wahoo. I wonder if there's a cumulative statistic with the head unit. Because how ever many hours I have on it, that's how long the battery lasts in the foot pod. 

AND i rode the stache to work.

nothing like a bit of frustrating high cadence work.

So

slow

But last night I dosed up the sealant and put a new chain on (all bling bling SS 1speed one) and got the chain length set for the 22T cog. Will need to slide the dropouts back when I switch to that gear but all i gotta do is hang the chain and that 20mm socket is kind of super nice. now i can actually torque it properly. 

The other thing I remember about this particular knee issue, it takes a while to resolve. Esp if I keep pedaling. 

Need to find a shim or swap posts before riding the Top Fuel. But that's okay - i think I've gotta stick with the Stache until after Great Glen.

y'all be good

heddwch
G

Guess what this idiot just did

 Don't have to guess...  kind of telegraphed it earlier.

unless you haven't been paying attention? you mean like me?

So yeah, signed up for https://www.bikereg.com/hells-half-acre-mtb-stage-race why? well it is pretty damn close to what I was planning to do anyway and actually two days in a row really is a better test than one day and while this is more money than doing my own thing, it also basically ensures that I will do it instead of flaking out or letting weather cancel anything i planned.

Yesterday was good, one cup (they are large 12-16 oz cup) before work and then one chemex 6 pot at work all day. But change from 2.5 cup before work and sometimes 2 chemex pots during the day. 

Today much the same. 

Slept okay last night, not the best not the worst. Woke up tired but maybe slightly more rested.

Knees? well, dunno about that, gonna pretend they aren't kind of dull and achy. But maybe it is all the riding of the Black Blue or something? Or maybe it is lymes and i'm gonna get the test results back and have tossed the money to Jim for the hell of it. I dunno. We'll see. They are functional and cutting back on the coffee means i'm more dehydrated than normal because i'm not drinking all that extra liquid so maybe that's all it is now. Dehydrated knees. 

East Providence sent a giant FUCK YOU to all the cyclists that transition from the East Bay Bike Path to the Linear Park. It is expected and predicted but so sad. Can't really describe the feeling of relief that it created. A serious lifting of vehicular threats.

EP is just a shitty place to ride your bike and the EPPD seem to be hell bent on keeping it that way.

Guess I gotta figure out bottle drop bag and what i'm eating on Saturday. need to be quicker foods but i gotta remember to eat. quicker because race and i don't want to make Jim mad by being out on the course for too long. Also need to manage hydration well. At least I'll be on the Stache with two bottle cages. Probably go with one bottle of coffee and one of sugar mix, have extras of each at the aid station, thinking gels or blocks for food, maybe cookies? Something quick/fast/easy, almost thinking about kefir but may use that as pre or post race recovery. 

Had a post lunch cancellation... i like those...  time to catch up (actually almost caught up with the requests) and to recharge. 

Still a good pile of things to get through so this, well i ate lunch in 10 minutes earlier - this is a post lunch mental break. 

I brought post ride recovery breakfast with me but didn't have time to eat it since i went right into meetings (they were early and I was a few minutes later than planned)  and then right into the next one. Barely had time to have a cup of coffee after the first meeting. 

Was thinking about eating and food and a meme about "not all calories are equal" with an ominous figure looming in the background saying something about the law of thermodynamics...  

looking back at '13 and being hungry more than not...  got me skinnier, not sure i'm getting skinnier now but i'm focusing on decreasing size of meals or eating nutrient dense meals with lower caloric values (more salads for lunch). And working on timing. All those fasted early morning rides probably helped too but not as much as I thought they did back then. 

And I know I've said it over and over and over, it doesn't help to go back and what if, or wish to go back and make a tweak to the choices... i still can't help but look back and contemplate or think about it and wonder did I do the right thing? I did the thing, and like steph says "the choices you make are the choices you made" or whatever she said.

times up - gotta go back to fixing shit

maybe i can get out of here early (before the thunderstorms get here) if I move on quickly.

lets see - and yeah, i'm kind of excited about the race...  but not as excited or worried as I should be? Maybe? Dunno. We'll deal with it when we get there, right?

heddwch,
G

Rest day number 2

 Yesterday, no bike pedaling. Went to get plywood from imaging facility that was part of a couple big crates for a few projects that hopefully won't be put off too long. Then shopping, then moved plywood in, disassembled the base (two sheets and block base all nailed together) in the hot sun (too much work) then I brought the air compressor into the bike room and moved one of the storage bins to make room for it. 

Pulled out the wheels to mount the old XR2s on and set those up and then realized the freehub body is on the Top Fuel (wheels came with XD driver) AND I don't have any extra 180 mm rotors. So swapping means not just freehub swap but rotor swap too.

Managable but not sure I want to do that right now. May just try and get new rotors (as spares) for that wheelset. Swapping freehub isn't a big deal. 

But everything's kind of staged and ready to go and I have sealant (broke down and bought 32oz of the Stans race stuff. 

Had last of the coffee yesterday around 3ish, still had a hard time falling asleep, and then still woke up early but fell back asleep until 8. But by that point the coffee headache was in full swing and I needed to get up. 

So I got up and made coffee and got back in bed. 

Watched the trailer install video a few times, wrote down the socket sizes I needed and the tools and went to put it on. Then decided to make a breakfast sandwich with some eggs cheese and turkey because i figured eating would be good. 

Got the ramps out and well. it started drizzling.

All told it took about 30-45 minutes. A good part of that was looking for some deep socket tools and putting in the gasket material for the spare tire bolt. 

I fished all the bolts through only to discover as I bolted it up I fished it through the wrong fucking hole. Had to re-fish it and that was a big tedious pain but I managed. 

Now just need to get the 1-1/4 to 2 inch adapter (my hitch is a 2" one. And another pin for that, maybe a locking one...  Then I'll be two bike capable again.

Need to do a bit more organizing and clean up. But I'm back in bed and letting the body recover. 

Honestly kind of thinking about racing Hell's half Acre now. Why try and do my own 6hr of BR when I could get close to that much riding time (if not more) by doing the Expert distance (if I can sign up as an expert w/o anyone bumping me back down to sport). Downside is I probably would be last esp since I am going to be riding it on the Singlespeed. 

Debated putting the 22 on the back for the race. Maybe for day two that has more climbing. Start with the 34-20 for the 30 mile stage and move to the 22 for the 3-4 laps of the hilly course. 

Would be a really good test of the gear, and there is a feedzone and a bag drop, and two days of racing would be a good physical test a couple weeks before. Both time to recover and make adjustments.

We'll see how I feel tomorrow and move on to working on acting on that plan tomorrow. 
I mean I ride so much in BR that maybe I should race it. I know most of the trails pretty well, have ridden the Hell's big course, a few times and sections of it a lot. 

Def would be faster on gears but I need to go back to SS mode for now.

And while I still have lots I want to do today, well shit it is already 3pm. oops. 

kind of needed this. 

there's some other stuff I was going to write about but this feels like enough for now.

might have a little more coffee and call it good, maybe just keep relaxing...  

been a while since i've done kind of nothing...  for more than a few hours.

heddwch

G

one pedal stroke at a time

 Forward moving forward.

Bikes are good like that. You always do seem to go forward, onwards, often covering the same section over and over again, each time is a chance to improve, to get better, to learn.

I met up with the folks headed to the TT last night, chatted a bit and then got soundly dropped riding across the linear park. AND I WAS ON THE FAST BIKE. Yeah. I'm tired. But feeling better.

Knees still ache, went in and got a lyme titer test yesterday. No no bite or mark or embedded tick but from what I've watched you can get it w/o noticing where they got you. Certainly rare. And my Doc was happy to give me the slip to go get the test. Waiting on results. Fingers crossed it is negative and I can blame the sore knees and fatigue on riding more than I should have been and not resting enough.

I'm actually kind of hoping it does just fucking pour rain all weekend. Will make it easier to take time off the bike. May also push the Monday planned 6hr of BR to Friday. Weather permitting. Actually not even weather permitting I think I need the rest more than that logistic test. 

Kid is headed home from the US Rowing experience. She wasn't in the A boats but she's an 05 in a dev camp full of 04 and 03s. Just getting there as an 05 was pretty solid, also making the Finals after getting through the time trial and semi finals (only two boats advance) into the finals in both boats? And the A boat from their program won each race they were in. Solid. Just a touch more than a second off the podium. That's a lot of sprint racing in three days after three weeks of the most intense rowing of her life. 

Yeah i'm a proud dad. Also happy she's coming home even though heading back to the camp to prepare for worlds would be also pretty cool. Not this year tho.

Having her out of the house has jarred the routine, for everything. trial run for college or something. Right? 

My head has been all over the place lately. That internal monologue i never talk about has ramped up. Why does '13 keep rolling back in my head. Hah. FUCK. 13...  just... now... realized.. cursed year eh? Really fucking cursed. But again w/o it I wouldn't be where I am right now and where I am right now is a good place. 

A good place. And I don't even have to remind myself anymore. I know it, I feel it.

Yes, I could be 20# lighter, but that comes with trade offs. I do wish I was faster, wish I had a more modern bike to ride against all those fancy modern bikes everyone brings to smackdown. But not really all that much. I'm okay with the shit i've got. I'm okay making that hard left hand turn into the woods on the Stache or the Top Fuel. The Blue works although. Yeah the Black blue. When I wore through the ultegra wheel from 2011 or whenever (maybe 2012) - specifically the brake track. I replaced it with a wheel that was warrantied at the shop because of skipping. I did this a couple years ago. Never a problem with it. Worked flawlessly.

Till last week. It's started skipping. But I've also started riding more again and maybe it needs another full servicing. But it has been annoying a few times. I understand now, yes there was something wrong with it.

Oh well. I don't have a spare rim brake wheel for it, Kind of funny, EVERYTHING has different wheels now. There's an 8, 9, 10 speed QR rim brake, a 142 TA, 148 TAx2 but different rim widths and incompatible tires between bikes. there's the wheels on the Crossrip+ (really should sell that thing) and then there's the FX bikes. and the singlespeed surly. Some spares but mostly everything on stuff to make it all work. 

a few twists and turns.

an opportunity seized (busted scope, service engineer is here and I have to support and be on call and avail till he is finished so finally a morning to take a breath w/o talking non-stop for three hours) Oh and yeah - remote is done, we're back to F2F and me talking at them in the same room. While there were many advantages to the remote, it was more challenging for everyone, but I learned and improved doing them so I def appreciate that shift for a time. Good to be back. Except now it is kind of INSANE.

oh well...

keep moving forward, hoping to catch a tailwind... and really hoping it rains all weekend (so I don't feel torn about not riding the MTBs).

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

heddwch
G 

progress?

 Maybe...

hard to tell but honestly I have an urge to fuck it all up and go do smackdown tonight.

not just smackdown but ride home first, let the dogs out, then head back in. Extra 14 miles.

I'm not as tired but i'm still not feeling recovered but also thinking I'll skip thursday entirely. 

Of course now the long range forecast is looking like thunderstorms all day monday. Maybe I take that day off and head to the shop and do some work on the bike in prep and hopes friday works. weather eh?

Lots going on. Don't feel like sharing it all here. That is kind of a shock eh? Captain overshare here. Or at least some cryptic shit that even I don't remember what it refers to... nothing? What the hell is wrong with G?

Nothing really. Tired but not bad. Worried and overwhelmed. Trying not to get anxious or worried about how kid is doing in Camden NJ today at the races. 

Other stuff, harder to put into words. 

At least Stevil is posting some good shit this week - music videos and everything
https://allhailtheblackmarket.com/2021/07/something-to-keep-the-wheel-spinning/

Listening to some Goldfinger right now. 

Saw this meme... makes me think about my 24HOGG plans (training and logistic) 

So yeah.. everything's totally fine, good plan ya formed there in Dec 2019 GeWilli, really solid plan.

Best get it done before I turn 50. I hear everything is even worse than those tracks look after that...

Was asked about plans for how i'm going to celebrate the day again, a couple times in a row, and guess what? I'm still me, it still made me depressed sad and grumpy thinking about it.

Awesome.

Yeah so, good job GeWilli, you just opened the trapdoor and you made yourself feel like shit with one sentence. YOU DID IT TO YOURSELF WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT.

Never going to get to the boss level.

Took a few good images on the SEM yesterday. 4. They were all good and I really like each one but the last one? The best. Why does that happen? Start collecting images and get to the last one and be all, yup that's so good I can stop. 

I even posted them out of order and (on the nanoscape instagram) and the last one is much more popular. Tried somethjing enw, no hashtags... less reach but more direct engagement.

Maybe i wasn't actually feeling good, better at faking even myself out? 

Maybe my aching knee isn't over use and too much riding and not resting enough and is something worse like lyme? Maybe I need to rule that out...  should call doc I guess and ask professional advice. 

i mean it is the knee w/o the Bursa that I drove into the ground on the second or third ride on the Top Fuel.

Oh did I mention the crank fell off? And totally fucked up the crank arm? But i think it is okay. I hope. Don't think i can replace it anymore. 

Well the hitch is out for delivery. Maybe I'll put that on tomorrow or thursday instead of riding. And at least with the house to myself with the dogs, maybe I can trick myself into going to bed extra early and sleeping in? 

At least maybe get close to the I'm rested enough level.

or not

and so it goes

lemme see if i can hook up an air compressor and maybe check the scope settings with a different sample

Oh and the new Goldfinger album is really good.

heddwch

G

So, well guess what?

 GeWilli still really sucks at getting rest and self care.

Got up early to ride Saturday, dragged ass all day at the shop, really slow and lethargic...

got up early Sunday to ride - only got 13 miles in but my crank fell off and I felt off. Like looked down after stopping to see my HR over 170 haven't seen that in ages. Just couldn't quite hang with Syl Raz and Bodziony. 

At all. Felt good technically, could easily match and catch them as long as we weren't going uphill. 

Sunday's ride was a disaster but not really all that bad. 

I put 7 days in a row with decent volume, harder effort on most commutes and then SS MTB ride Saturday and geared ride on Sunday. 

But. 

I'm tired.

I know I've been saying it for a while and I got pretty good for a bit, cutting back on coffee and getting sleep but the 4th of july, the late fireworks the dogs being agitated the long string of thunderstorms at night also making the dogs agitated then adding the 4:30 wake up by E to go row in the morning a couple days a week and by the end of the week I was back to drinking enough coffee to be functional that it was impacting my sleep and that spiraled very quickly.

AGAIN.

It is like Boss Level, or Russian Dolls, or the og Ground Hog day. 

I get close to getting it right then fucking up and starting over again.

Need to reach boss level i guess.

And I need to reach it before 24HOGG.

Things to sort out: food and logistics, lights, power, spare wheels (need tires mounted and inflated) need to refresh the sealant in the Stache tires, new cog and chain, spare chains and brake pads and a rotor or two. Might need to try and service the dropper post, it is getting pretty worn and probably needs a new bushing kit. 

There's a lot more to do but I've got other shit to do.

Currently planning on the 19th for the 6 hour sort out party/ride in BR (weather depending).

maybe more later but damn i like this track.
And yeah fine - i'll admit it, i really like Miley's voice... and Yo Yo fucking MA

 

heddwch
G

sometimes it helps

 to just go pedal

junk miles? maybe in some ways i poked around yesterday...  got home just as the storm blew in. 

got caught with the wind sheer leading edge riding through the forest of riverside, i rode fast looking up, did not want something landing on me.

It was a short ride but it was mentally helpful. I was in a funk and I rode myself out of it.

But just barely - touch and go at home - but got some good deep sleep and woke up a bit better off. Feeling good about bailing on the TT (sorry). Y'all probably know how much that TT has been a part of my summer routine. Years and years and years of it. Might be one of the more consistent participants over the years. Jack Tickle and Chris Burke being maybe the only two with the same consistent longevity.

But they've both taken time off and you know what? I feel like maybe this year I might just skip it. and that choice feels okay. At least it does now.

Also. WHAT IS UP WITH THE DAMN AFTERNOON STORMS! IS THIS DC OR SOMETHING? WHAT THE FUCK.

Every fucking day. BOOM.

Poor dogs are like "fuck, this" first nonstop fireworks and now non-stop thunder. They were a wreck last night with that midnight storm (I slept through their antics - but heard about it from E). 

Today was a marathon imaging session, done earlish, brain cooked and staring at radar wondering if ride is happening or if i'm just going to try and out-run this storm and just go home.

Also this whole not wearing a mask thing at work is new, and strange and whatever it is cool but still weird after a year+ of it.

Still automatically reaching to pull up the face covering as I leave my office. 

I want to get all more indepth about a lot of things - about that email that i started (and haven't returned to and now debating even completing). There's quite a bit rolling around in my brain, guess I'll let it roll around some more. 

and get back to the grind

heddwch
G

Ride or not to ride

 Smackdown, right? 

So Monday I had planned to go ride and plan the 6 hour loop. I woke up just tired as hell. Bailed, just was literally just too tired. But went to the shop as I planned later to put the rest of the special orders together, day off - good focused brainfree task, meditation kind of thing. 

No big deal, means fresher for Smackdown. 

Roll up to smackdown. clouds are DARK, the line of storms coming was pretty intense. "Continuous ground strike lighting" was how the front was labeled. That's fine but fuck not really. 

Sat there at the start weighing the options. The group was small, but also not slow, and while it was a good chance it would get wet I would have still had to have gone back to the office and then home. Was gonna get smacked by it no matter what and probably pretty hard if I rode. But so what? Well also fuck that, so I rode back to the office got my shit and headed home. Away from the storm. South. Still got a good bit of rain and lightning at the house just after I got home. 

Wise to not ride but still kind of a layer of disappointment that I felt, even though I shouldn't have felt it...  whatever, right? Then i hear that crew kid is feeling sad and somewhat left out as she feels like she might not be making the world team, so that adds another layer on top of everything. Oh and did I mention we watched Russian Doll (Netflix - time line sci-fi kind of series - very good but fucking with my head)...

And I just booked next week solid for double days after this, all be it, short week of being overbooked. Overbooked and double days mean I don't have time to deal with the incoming requests and day to day shit. that never goes away until i get to it btw. 

Oh and the TT is supposed to start tomorrow. Merckx class even. But no rim limit (60mm) and in my current mood I'm thinking fuck that. I'm better off just getting up with E on Thur am and heading out and doing my own on the CX/road/Black Blue. They are just strava timing and while i need the extrinsic motivation i'm also just kind of fed up with equipment races. And frustrated. And grumpy.

So planned to make up for yesterday by just getting some miles in tonight. Leaving in a few minutes (and coming back here for my stuff) and going through the paces of a longer than just a commute home sort of ride. I'm tempted to just take the long way home with the backpack on but also more inclined to ride w/o it and make a loop and return and then head home.

There's more storms coming but if i leave soon i can probably get the ride in and home before the skies open up again. Funny that, how 90+ degree heat breed T-storms.

go figure.

I finally ordered the hitch for the jetta and registered for the campsite at the 24 hr race. not sure if i should order another hitch rack for the golf wagon or just go with roof racks on that. 

Ticking through all the shit i have to do, slowly. 

6 hr of big river will happen. soon. Maybe the 19th...  

I'm under fueled for doing a really hard ride tonight but it is also currently 91 with a feels like 98... taking it easy and just getting the time in will be valuable.

So I'm going to do that.

And keep pushing through. 

one thing at a time.

heddwch

G

short track

 Watched some DH, then some short track - while eating lunch and getting other work done. Nice having time to be forced to sit at the desk to get work done. Also nice break to not be talking non-stop for hours all morning.

Rode home between rain storms yesterday. Basically dry on the way home. 

This morning? Wet. And kind of cool. Like it was 61F. It was almost 100 a couple days ago. 

Nothing like a 40° swing in temps.

But the rain puts a bit of a damper on MTB this weekend. Maybe a window will open Sunday. Fingers crossed.

I like the idea of the 6 hours of BR. I know that sounds like a snooze fest to some but could be good for figuring out food and all that. Do I eat a sandwich/food after each lap? Might try that, probably could do a two lap then eat break. Might need to do it one way once and the other way a second time. 

Lights need to be sorted still, so does a fuckton of other shit. Like hey maybe i need something other than a 34x20. bring a 21 and a 22 with pre-cut chains? Set up the top fuel as a FS SS? 

Time to talk for 3 hours.

heddwch
G

Wait - not it isn't. I still have half an hour. 

 But I probably don't have much more to say right now. Started writing a letter, one maybe I should have written a while ago but maybe haven't been in a good enough space to do so. Probably won't finish it and then if I do probably won't send it.

As it is, as busy and crazy and overwhelmed as everything is, I'm finally kind of feeling more stable, more relaxed, if not happier certainly more content. Fewer What Ifs 

Lots of work on myself left to do. Do the work, trust the process. Def have this feeling that I haven't done enough work for a 24 hr race, but might be time to get to a place where I can successfully participate. Not sure I want to do the detox from coffee before then like I had planned. But I also had planned to race a fuckton of Marathon events leading up to the race (last year) and well that didn't happen.

well

time to push through the weeds and wake up and get ready to talk

a 

lot