a significant anniversary

Ten years.

Ten years ago I left Michigan, started here for a couple weeks, went back home to finialize and pack everything up and return with the whole family and our stuff following in a van.

Stayed at my Brother's house while his family was on vacation until our apartment on the East side in PVD was ready. Our stuff arrived. A small portion went into the apartment, the rest into a barn of dubious storage qualities.

And we started the new life. The oldest started school on a journey that has been worth every sacrifice.

2005 was a big change.

I've talked through the logic of the move, and wonder what might have been if we'd stayed, but it doesn't matter, we're here, and I'd do it all over again.

Paying rent and a mortgage for 10 months on one salary for 9 of those months fiscally burried us deep. Treading water for a long time, started getting worse, so I picked up second job and then 3rd jobs when they were availible. Sold my grandfather's Fly Rods that I had been hanging on to for years to pay for a bike. Sold wheels I won one year to pay for most of CX season. Some how we've miraculously made it work. Major events, car caught fire, got a dog, dog died. Kids kicking butt in school, survived braces on one, next one to come maybe. There have been major milestones, major lows. Friends have come, friends have gone, some are still there.

Life is a process. Life is what you live what you experience. I treasure my experiences. I value the painful ones. Well not when i have clinical PTSD emotional flashbacks. Funny thing is, I've always had them. Never as bad as this but I can look back now and see that it is just who I am.

Ten years.

Ten years ago (in a few months) I showed up at Roger Williams Park to watch the Cyclocross Nationals. I was starting to not be fat, but I wasn't fast. Never have been either. But 10 years ago now, 240# and the size 38 pants I had were getting tight and I couldn't ride any of my bikes in the drops and on some of them the tops were too low. By the next summer I was back to a 34, had no clothes that fit, and was barely 185# But that's beside the fact. Showing up at RWP for CX Nats reminded me about that sport I found late in Michigan, that I couldn't keep doing working at Central with that commute. But I found it again.

fates? who knows. If Nationals weren't here in PVD in '05 and '06 would I have found the NECX community?

It has been enormously challenging, I've screwed up a giant pile of times. I hopefully won't make the same mistakes again, Just when it feels like I'm getting a handle on things it all changes.

I do really like this job, it has been inordiantely stressful this year, these next two weeks are a bit intense looking at the schedule. But I'll hopefully get through it w/o a black cloud coming in and wrecking everything. But the job, I'm good at it, it is a job that I can tell people what they are doing wrong, explain why, and how to fix it and why to fix it and they'll listen. So that's a good thing.

The Leica that was new to me and so cool when I got here in the old building...  has been taken apart. 10 years ago I moved into an office with Windows. Windows. I'd been in a basement my whole career up until that point. I had windows, it was amazing. Then 18 months later they moved me back into an office w/o windows and we moved the Leica. That year World's were in L'vull and I lost my heriloom mitten we moved the Leica again and got a new two photon scope. Today I moved it back out of that room to make room for the scope that is keeping me from going to the National Microscope conference in PDX next week. New scope day. Putting it together on Monday!

I had long hair 10 years ago...  I have long hair again. A bit annoying in this heat but not too bad.

Just some thoughts...  writing in a positive but reflective headspace for a change.

CX is coming and I'm not prepared. Gotta figure out what to do with the black blue, single speed it or get new drivetrain and rear der. Funny thing is a rear der isn't much more than a tensioner and that's the only way we're getting chain tension correct on this beast to go true SSCX. maybe Zip tie again. I looked at the Zanc series. can't make more than 4? at most? If that? And that's assuming I do the PVD one, 3 days in a row of racing is kind of brutal. But maybe just do it to have fun, who knows. Too early to figure that out (actually schedule just posted and i'm dissapointed, gone is the 40+ but added 35+ but no 45+ and oh well they gotta make some cash i guess, maybe i'll just race friday this year).

New old race wagon to be picked up soon, need to unload the old one (did quick search for conversion into vanagon, oof that's a ton of work, nothing straight forward and total pain and unreliable unless you can turn a wrench or have really good towing package and mechanic on standby).

Too many unknowns hanging out there. But they won't stay that way forever. gotta keep plugging on

heddwch
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