strangeness

Strangeness eh? Yeah is odd, how does one figure it all out or then give up trying to figure it out and then shit falls into place?

That whole one foot in front of the other? The forest of darkness can’t last forever as long as you keep your bearings and keep going. Lose your bearings or give up and then the darkness consumes you. Keep going, in the face of everything, always keep going, because. That’s what.

I mean specifically it has been pretty dark, but lately, following the bearings, weathering the darkness…  it feels so much better right now.

I hate to say it that I might have been happy. Yesterday was a great day, unexpected trip up to Gillette was close to undermining it but an extra IPA at home was a solid compensator. In spite of the frustration with the corneal scratch things have been, well, getting better and better. Still tons of stuff that I need to resolve, gotta call Uncle Tommy in MI, gotta call my Dad. Could call now, but it is 8:30pm and i’m a couple beers in and super fucking tired. Brain barely functional enough to write words.

This was started last night at GIllette stadium, not THAT much time to write after walking back to the car during a 10k. Trying to finish now, while having a beer. This keeps me from bugging friends or jumping into shit on Twitter.

Naps today, I took a nap or two. So Fucking TIRED. But only in exhausted not the other possible way to be tired.  Skipped the party, but still made the coleslaw. I got done making it and just kind of shut down. In light of what I’m facing going back to the picture factory the next three days (double and triple trainings and I’m usually wrecked with one, this will be fun).

The prospect of talking to people and being at a party, no matter the food or beverage right now felt way too overwhelming.

And of course the booms have started and the little pig dog is terrified and shaking in the bathroom. if she could find a sound proof box to hide in she would. Poor little puppy. I take breaks and go console her….  

I’m still no closer to feeling motivated enough to carve out time to actually train and attempt to get faster. I’d get the paramount all ready but I stole the seatpost out of that to make the SSCX Surly 1x1 rideable. And the rear disc cover has pretty much completely fallen apart. It is held together with duct tape, and not very well at this point. Good by aero. But the distance and the effort isn’t terrible. Going at it cannibal style probably is pretty much good enough. the Aero advantage is completely wasted on me at this point.  We’ll see if I can get a bike together for it by Thursday morning when I have to ride in.

Could be working on that right now but def not feeling it. at all. back to the tired thing. But satisfaction level is higher than in a very long time. So meh, it is what it is. At least I’m still riding and riding the SSCX means I’m always being challenged if not at high cadences at least at low cadences so strength has to be maintained just to make it to work. It isn’t the worst way to baseline it all.

Esp since the bike weighs 40 pounds. Shit maybe I should just TT on that thing. Maybe there’ll be a SS canibal fendered commuter category. #jokes.

ok, we’ll see what happens with the TT. No smackdown this week, maybe I’ll make it back out for next week. We’ll see what the throw of the dice brings.

heddwch

G