what a day

Squirrels were back, the hot chili oil I painted on everything dissuaded them from chewing up more shingles but the massive thunderstorm that rolled through last night after that knocked most of it all off. But I did have a live trap on the roof with some peanut butter. It was empty but the rain didn't wash the bait off and shortly after the chewing started I had one of the pair.

Now I'm going to assume squirrels do the whole pairing up thing, you know for reproduction and shit. The last time this happened I was able to keep em out well enough or soon enough that they hadn't settled on a space. These two were locked in and determined to get in.

The hold still trap as my brother calls em (hold still while they get dispatched) worked and cool, just ride em up the bike path.

it was a good run

that sense of finally having things come together...  kind of figures... took a pandemic to fuck it up though, can't feel too bad about that, def not alone but still... sigh...

eh? yeah it is selfish to feel this way, but I'm def feeling more depressed than I have in a REALLY long time. And that's saying a good bit.

I could complain but I won't. I'll say that having misophonia in a small house with loud eaters is not helping.

wave two

So, the wave of uncertainty hit a crescendo today. 

Crushing grip of panic and anxiety. 

Kicked off by what was supposed to be a reassuring email from work.

Funny getting the email while I was at the bike shop getting things in order for tomorrow's return to working the second job. 

Pausing to try to capture this moment of physical oh shit, arms tingling and stuff. 

It is now 5 hours later. I've talked with my mother. A childhood friend that I don't remember, if not a friend well my mother's friend's son, died from the virus. 

He died alone. 

That didn't help my panic. 

It transformed it though.

Watched making the cut as a family tonight. Finally something everyone could agree on. But if course we watched two episodes back to back... And there are only two episodes right now.

I'm still writing this on my phone. Other devices are in different rooms. 

I wanted to write about the start of Fleet week, but I might stop with it for a bit. Maybe tomorrow is a day for a break. If I don't ride, can't break the streak. 

And ffs I was doing so damn well. 

And here I am, no masks. And completely freaking out. 

Maybe I'll wake up and be able to write.

Right now I'm kind of at a loss.

A really low point. 

Have to rally, really just have to try and sleep.

I can rally tomorrow. 

Heddwch 

G

Ah the web logging time

More time to write now? Perhaps, not really for me today, but then I had to stop into the lab. Lock that shit UP. Shut it down.

Three more scopes to do this to, probably gonna wait till Thursday. Gotta catch up on class prep tomorrow.

So much for taking a couple days off.

Pain never hurt me like love...  awesome song by Foy Vance. Yeah. Still on that kick.

the whole thing

After dinner (it turned out really well btw)

I fired up Spotify - (not free one - yeah i suffer through the adds)  and listened to this album.

https://open.spotify.com/album/3tbEwZBvOPJFsY92FdW4mV?si=1OhyisCZTM-HykpLPqoFgg

So
fucking
good

Kind of funny, Gordon Bok was probably one of the most influential musicians outside of the classical stuff I listened to early on. Sure, moved on to some blues, the pogues, zydeco, metallica, rush, ska, fuck the genres covered with my CD collection are pretty complete. No fucking musicals those. fuck that shit. nope.  But Opera? Oh yeah, lots of that.

Greg Allan Isakov and this guy and the Avett brothers and Frank Turner... this shit's getting me through.

I'm sitting here at the kitchen table, rain drumming on the roof over my head, I can hear it over the earbuds it is so loud.

Not reading, not doing much, almost all the dishes are done. haven't seen anyone else in 30 minutes. Maybe they are asleep? Dunno.

Might hit replay on this last song on the album, could listen to it once more.

don't lose your guiding light - if you've got one

heddwch
G


awe fuck I shouldn't have typed that last part of the last line there...  now i'm gonna be wondering what mine is and why i can't point out what it is, guess I can transform it by pointing out I really haven't lived my life, ever that way. Everytime I find something that draws me in, completely captivates me and motivates me and feels like it completes me, kaboom - it goes away...  like that story I told y'all about Scheel and my drawings. Listening to it again, "whatever light leads you"

I'm a tumbleweed from the desert of my birth, rolling along, makes me different i think more than most. And that's okay. I am here where I am today because I rolled along, from one thing to the next.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU

yeah - you can be like me - these corded headphones in the tablet cranking

Listen to Hello I Am Frequency Vol. 1 by FREQUENCY on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/frequencybeets/vol-1

can't hear anything else - nothing
but a few minutes ago i was literally
falling asleep drinking coffee listening to this...
so after who knows how many long tracks on this mix i started writing

earbuds ftw - this wouldn't last turned up without furious objection from the other occupants of the house right now.

day one of WFH with the whole crew is done...

I didn't even go for a ride.

I did spend the night worrying i had a fever because i was feeling warm (likely due to the metabolic boost from recovering from the ride yesterday but you tell a slightly hypochondriac brain that isn't more than that) should have been able to logic myself to sleep, but nope.

woke up really early tho.

made coffee, had almost an hour of quiet before everyone else got up.

actually got a good pile of work done, only had to do IT help for one today.
and I did a bit of sorting through wheels and stuff and reorganized the bike room, calling it phase 1 re-org though. need a LOT more work in there, but two bikes were outside and got it sorted before the precipitation started...

it did actually start snowing here, nothing stuck,

bike path report from E's lunch run was that it was pretty empty, not many people out.

guess the kids are all in school (at home) good. it is true last week was basically spring break for many schools, and people treated it as such. maybe this week we're gonna take the whole stay at home thing seriously.
Word from local ED doc is that they are well prepared here, stocked up, have been preparing for weeks, measures to deal with this, to ensure they have enough critical PPE were mostly successful. It is a little state but it is a comfort, hopefully it doesn't get too bad here.

Still that waiting - still the getting stuff done - patience - pacing - shit maybe i do need to get the damn trainer out. Banging out a few 20 min intervals or maybe 3 15s wouldn't be such a bad idea. or not, a long solo ride up to Tower Hill sounds better.

And hey maybe taking the day off today isn't such a bad thing for the legs.

Gonna make some dirty rice. Got a hunk of chorizo to cook up, plenty of cans of beans (thinking pinto tonight) use some brown basmati - handful of jalapenos and a poblano, some onions, garlic, spices- simple... Almost made some hummus today, maybe tomorrow. I wound up short order cooking lunch for everyone.  "Oh that sounds good, can you make me one too?"

nothing insightful or interesting today. i think i got a bit judgemental on teamsnacktwitter private chat group - oops. but for FFS people don't buy cheese that is pre-grated. Y'all should know what. I hope.

damnit - gotta do the chip baker drunk guy looking for interaction topics during happy hour post...  maybe after dinner.

or not

we'll see

hope y'all are well

heddwch
G

Monks of Big River

So we had Dirt Church this morning. 

On the way over it popped in my head. We're the Monks of Big River. Sometimes traveling to other places to ride, Arcadia, Burlingame, Woody Hill, we'll go other places but we'll usually gather to ride alone. 

And well, it is just a bunch of old weirdos. Social misfits, aka Mt Bikers. Monks of Big River seemed to have a nice ring. Better than Big River Monks... I think. Don't you?

A few extras tagged along, we kept out distance, but I did have to point out, if you can smell the other person, you can get the virus from them. Aerosols are pretty freaking tiny drops, and the high affinity that the covid has, well, doesn't take much to get the infection.

And to clear it up - just because you are asymptomatic or only have mild symptoms doesn't mean the exact same virus won't flatten and kill someone else in a few days. And yeah the O blood type is lucky, I don't think that's mine because my mother is AB so that means I kind of can't be O. I understand virology better than blood typing heredity, I don't know my dad's or i could narrow it down some more, or i could just get tested. Or fuck it doesn't much matter.

The riding out there was good. A week off wasn't great for my trail skillz. I'm too new to this to take much of a break. Also we hit the swoopy hilly stuff this week. We did hit dead people and I tombstoned myself and jammed the stem into my pelvic area above the junk. It fucking hurt. Yes, I just checked by poking around to find where I hit and it STILL hurts when I push on it. Gonna work on not doing that again.  At least I missed the junk.

Tire pressure could have been lower. Went 12.5 up front and 13 in the rear. Will try 11.5 and 12 next time.

Assuming we're allowed out in a week or less. Def thinking I will go out alone, try to get a better sense of where the fuck I am and how to get around out there. There are so many trails. We do things in so many different combinations that it is tough to follow. Things are familiar, but still not quite sure how they connect. I am starting to recognize the pieces but still not totally sure how they fit together. 

The bike is heavy, I am slow, hills... oof. I was also not feeling perfect, but a few others weren't and the pressure to hang with the fastest wasn't there, just hang out in the middle, survive. Have fun.

I had fun. Tank bike and all.

Bill Bragg has a good little song up now. It is very much the same thing as Colin's blog post but in song form. I'll be honest, it kind of hit me in the feels a bit.

If you like it - share it, maybe it will keep someone inside and away from everyone else.

I saw that G-ride aka Closethedoor aka the grumpy vermont guy commented that the only people making it out of this mess are the introverts. IT IS ABOUT TIME. Or something. 

Holy shit though my legs are shredded. 

Ouch. They are hurty. The not flat stuff and that bike means A LOT OF WORK. Really actually kind of wondering what a legit go fast bike would be like. 

Took a break there - between something and holy.

Syl actually really liked the idea and immediately thought of jersey designs - i think we need to make it happen. Can't wait to see what he comes up with.

Finding a work space of my own is going to be difficult. Basement might be the best option. There is the sweet kick ass rocking chair (bent wood amish thing - so comfy) can use laptop on that. Also kind of want to get battery for the Pentax Ashai, and some black and white film, and some chemicals, and the enlarger set up. Black out that window, could be kind of freaking awesome. Save that project for the following week. 

Also the big guitar is down there. Maybe I need to figure out how to play chords and shit. 

Kid is making food. Smells freaking delicious. Some "Sweet Greens" inspired food bowl full of stuff, there's some tofu marinating in shoyu, fresh ginger, fish sauce and garlic, i heard something about some wild rice mix (the bobs red mill stuff I got) maybe some harissa chickpeas or other roasty yummy. Double bonus of not having to cook tonight. Very under fueled for the day. This food thing, that's gonna be the most interesting. How do we deal/cope with this whole four people working in the same tiny little house. 

I mean don't get me wrong, i love this little house, but I'm also someone who really kind of needs alone time away from others, even my family. And maybe I found that clip there just a tiny bit too funny. 

Such is life, those that make it to the other side of this invisible storm, well, we'll all be stronger for it. Hopefully we'll be better, more compassionate and perhaps the country will find some empathy as well.

I should read more than I am writing. Just can't settle enough to read. Too many books over the last year? Something's different right now, I wonder what it might be.

Hmm...

Well. 

Y'all be well, stay healthy, stay away from other people. Seriously, flatten the fucking curve. Or at least stay out off the curve's way. 

Amor Fati Motherfuckers

Heddwch

G

black hole sun

Was digging down the rabbit hole of stuff I hadn't heard, some Foy Vance, his cover of Purple rain was good...

Youtube's playlist put this up next...

So
good

music

will get us through
?
if not be the thing that does, it can certainly help along the way.

heddwch
G

Remote but not so remote

We had an issue, someone's authorization to finish up was extended beyond when we took the keys out of the laser things.

AKA shit is SHUT DOWN.

except well, for the exceptions.

and the exceptions were not shared with us.

Good day for a bike ride. Nice short 7 mile one. INTO THE FUCKING WIND.

and it was glorious. Except for the hundreds of people crowded onto the bike path. Ugh.

Took the bike with gears. Totally forgot I could shift until I got to the little rise/hill. Shifted. Then promptly forgot to shift back down for a half mile or so. Oh, right, click, click.

Kind of want a bell on this bike now. On every bike. maybe the bells will work better now that everyone is escaping to the outside, not just escaping (aka being outside away from the screens and headphones w/o them for a change - make sense? fuck it - you figure out what I mean - you might be used to that by now).

So I'm here. Fired up the system. Cleaned the objectives - fuck they were DIRTY. damn. Functional but needing some attention.

Fits and starts. I am essential personnel but mostly telecommuting. Access as needed but remote as much as possible. To be honest that little bit is a HUGE comfort. Even if I do manage to stay mostly at home. So I will pop in, do what is needed, and maybe do one extra very small project that can't be done when everyone is using everything. Patience and pacing, this is gonna take a while.

I have a feeling the grad students and post docs with external funding that will run out soon will start pushing back. But hopefully there will be a policy and an intelligent patient approach to bringing things back on line in the midst of a pandemic. We will see what happens.

Got stuff cleaned up, user showed up, fired up the desktop, and opened tabs.

Gonna have to figure out how to do this remotely more easily. Opening 32 tabs on my phone much less reading them there is nuts. No fancy workspace at home like Kent (doesn't that look sweet?) and with the work laptop (dell ultrabook) i haven't sync'd the other account with all the bookmarks yet.

But there were a handful of awesome nuggets out there in the web log internet realm.

Granted all of which I've linked to before and you're probably already looking and have seen before me but gonna document them anyway:
social distance DC style

Of course stevil has his weekly post up
and this line:

Certainly not to make light of the situation, but I’ve been quarantining myself for over a decade. Three weeks is a walk in the park.

yup us misfits and weirdos different as we may be - always on the fringe - have the skills to get through this, finally a benefit to being socially awkward and shy. F'YEAH!

Chipstick is back at it too. Dirt Church MOTHERFUCKERS also looks like services will be happening tomorrow, but I'm not telling you if you don't already know and we do generally always ride on the less popular trails (more rocks and hills) so hopefully it won't be too crowded there at our spot.

" I for one can't wait to be able to do a bad idea ride with my good friends. It will be like that first Ronde de Rosey. And we will end at a dive bar and have the best burger in our lives....be safe my friends."

Um what do I have to do to get a ticket on that ride?

Oh and Seth? Yeah he's got some good stuff up now too. Almost all of his posts are well worth reading through. Here one and two.

I was gonna do that food post next. Save that for more remote and food oriented mindset.

If I don't stick around to lock the system up, well I have to come back to do it later. I like that idea.

Just me and the white noise from the air handlers.

Keep your shit together. This is gonna take a while to get through. Here's to hoping it ain't that bad, but if you prepare for it to be, well, the relief will be as good of a drug as you can find.

Amor Fati Motherfuckers
heddwch
G

too far away

Words in the lyrics as I opened the tab to start writing...

The resolution of this situation seems so far away.

I'll be honest, I am realizing I feel more calm and at peace than I have in a long time.
A sense of knowing something so large and unimaginably traumatic is happening out there in the world, different countries are responding with measures culturally and politically in line with their identity.

two weeks

I've been hearing that a bit, rephrase, reading that.

Two weeks before shit hits the fan.

or so, i read the PDF from that commission doing the eval for the UK and the US. Fucking NOT COOL. Actually it is intensely fascinating, but terrifying at the same time.

Something completely new, unknown.

I got things sorted out mostly at work today. Still kind of frustrated that instead of taking next week completely off I need to work on the new second half of the course I'm teaching.

Realized today it kind of bugged me. What's the point of taking the time off if I'm just going to be home anyway, might as well work.

I would love to predict everything, even hazard a prediction. No clue.

Not true, I'd predict we're going to get it mostly contained and then kaboom another flair-up. Repeat until an effective vaccine is made. And then keep repeating until the whole population has been exposed or vaccinated.

I rode the Black Blue today. Feels weird. Kept forgetting to shift. Also kind of fun to ride a bike that much lighter. Hell it is still in the really heavy range for a bike, but compared to the orange surly or the stache is a feather weight. The tires are worn out, the drivetrain is stretched to about 2.0 but it pedaled. And was a fun change of pace today.

Looking like rain for a few days, may just need to chill, skip the bike maybe. Don't want to but I am not supposed to go to work so no critical reason to ride outside.

what is normal now?

we're on thin fucking ice...  when do we fall through...  will we be able to climb out?

heddwch
G

WASH YOUR HANDS

Check with Alton Brown - or share this video with others. Yes - bar soap kicks ass.

And yes, again, hand sanitizer is close to useless, but also even with some utility should be thought of as useless relative to good old fashioned soap.

I guess for the bike mechanics: wash your hands all the time like you just had to remove a drivetrain from an excessively lubed but totally worn out and never cleaned bike.

Think about the greater good.

Chip said it i think in his words from Sunday. I will have to say, over the years, i've become more physically distant from others, fewer hugs, and all that. Stoke can be shared w/o contact. it is good practice now to become more self sufficient, even if riding in a group. be prepared for your own shit. if you're one of the assholes always mooching off others, change your ways. If you're not one of the mooches, don't ride with the mooches. Pick your riding partners well.

Sobering bullshit going on out there. The predictable response from the idiot masses that actually voted for the spray tan grifter is, well predictable, if they kept with their own it might be fine but it is impossible to prevent contamination.

A word to those out there saying "Pfft no big deal, only 3,000 dead in the last two weeks - 113k people die each year in cars, or pick some other mortality statistic." That's not how this works. 3k times 26 is what? And that's assuming there's linear growth. That puts it right up there with the leading sources. I don't need to say this to anyone who might have found this bullshit web log, y'all know it. Others don't.

yes. the flu shot is a stupid cash machine, it does reduce the severity if they catch the formula correctly, but won't prevent someone with the flu shot from spreading the virus. And maybe spreads it more because you don't feel sick enough to stay at home and so you go to work and everything while contagious.

I hope the death toll stays stable and doesn't ramp up. I hope it is just infectious and benign. And yeah it is what everyone is talking about, what else?

Jill's latest is a good read.

Post title is from Stevil

I have to say I appreciate Seth's goal here. Baking is good. I bought extra flour for that fact. I don't have nearly enough to last for weeks on end.

Things are about to get worse. Not better. even if it just from more and more being locked down. Not sure what is going to happen.

I had contemplated going to the store today, grabbing a few more things. I think there's going to be a second wave of panic soon, but I also don't want to contribute to it by heading out now. We can wait. We can ration. Some people can't.

That fuckton of unknowns out there... 

I saw this and like it:

Let's reframe social distancing and call it the physical distancing and social solidarity movement, we need each other.

I like that quite a bit. Def have been using the phrase physical distancing instead of social when i can.

I did go to work today. Nice quiet super cold ride in. Headwind and high 20s and maybe I should have covered my ears. Pretty quiet here. a decent amount of stuff to do in preparation, and very very few people here so easy to keep my distance, plenty of stuff to decontaminate surfaces with. Building air is a good % of outside air, not recirculated.

Good luck out there.

stay safe, stay healthy, be kind...

Amor Fati Motherfuckers
heddwch
G

time to Freak the F'out

Maybe not for you but for your friends and relatives who are entertainers or in the service industry who don't have any income or savings to fall back on.

Buying those gift certificates to your restaurant keeps the owner's pockets lined and gets him through this, not the staff who aren't cooking taking or serving your order.

The musicians who rely on live concerts? Who don't have the social media or internet presence to leverage or monetize or the money or skills to get there? They are hurting. This is peak cash flow for most of the Celtic musicians out there. They are kind of f'd.

Did you go stock up? Lucky you. What if you can't, maybe you've got some serious dietary issues and can't do the whole closet full of pasta and more or less rely on buying fresh food to prep once a week or so. Can't stock up, but also old enough to be in an at risk group.

So, um, yeah

Skimmed this last night:

The Washington Post: A common artificial sweetener might be making you fatter and sicker, a new study says.

Shocked (no not really).

Y'all still washing your hands?

Cloud of uncertainty has just kicked up to the zero visibility level.

I was still pretty wrecked on the bike yesterday from Tuesday's ride.

oops well.. there's this

Sound of Thunder

was not fictions

this is f'n crazy bat

Feb - not bad
24 active days

Total Distance 343 mi
14mi less than last month

Total Time 35h 33m
4h less than last month

Pretty good for a short month - even if it was a long short month.

Check out my activity on Strava: https://strava.app.link/6KR1FEWxH4

Posting that thinking about it and it came up somewhere else and it was on the clipboard and i plunked it down there.

balance?

restored a little, surprisingly or not it was after hanging out at the Bike shop up on Hope st.

What's the name of the shop? Ask me at the end of March.

But just hanging out there talking about riding, selling, fixing and history and all that stuff was good.

Not as in I want to should be doing this full time, no more of a there was something missing and it was the shop. whats the term for polyworkory, you know polyamory for work/job. Like you need more than one to feel complete? That a thing?

Or is it just me?

I didn't actually do any work but well, season is starting soon. We'll see how this plays out.

Chip posted some bullshit about the complaining leading to anxiety click bait thing that probably showed up on his fruit phone as a targeted hippie love happy faceplace thing. I mean that with all respect, for the marketing people that were able to target so successfully. (winky emoji). I've been both w/ or w/o the complaining, disconnected, i'm just broken most of the time.

But maybe more whole soon?

Got a sweet new pump in the mail to talk about, try out share and show off. I am excited about it.

DIGITAL GAUGE MOTHERFUCKERS! 1 PSI accuracy. How precise or calibrated? DON'T CARE - gotta be good enough to be repeatable and WAY easier to put 11 PSI in those 29r+ monster truck tires on the Stache.

Also no reason not to ever get the pressure not perfectly dialed. No more meh close enough.

LETS GET THIS ON THE MONEY NOW.

No, i have not taking the packaging off. 

It is raining, and snowing, at the same time. The mix was just starting as I got home.

Maybe tomorrow, or def before Dirt Church if I can make it there with what's going on. And no, I don't know quite what is going on other than maybe finally i'll have a mobile device that won't need to be plugged in and have a stainless bolt mechanically pressing into the back to work. Kind of still undecided about size, go bigger (easier to read/see photos/edit them longer standby battery) but bigger not fit as well in pants pocket. 

I like the EFTA breakdown/explain about what each series stands for. 

Kind of want to do them all, but shouldn't. Also like I said before - ignore the series and just do the ones I want/can and maybe not do all the SS ones maybe not all the Marathon ones, or maybe do them all...  WHY NOT.

Def need to get some lighter/stronger wheels. Maybe find a race tire with more bite than the XR2 that doesn't weigh 3kg like the XR4. okay they're really more like 2.2kg, at anyrate they are not light but they are grippy and predictable and confident.   But that said there aren't many light and aggressively knobby 3" tires. 

Time change this weekend is gonna make Dirt Church hurt a bit more but maybe that's a good thing to get ready for a really early start to Monday.

i just think both of those things means another long week.

Maybe i'm just feeling better from not seeing all the horrible shit happening via the twitter filter. Or not feeling like I'm missing out because i'm not actually in the group of closely connected people doing cool shit but i'm close enough to find out. WHatever it is it is good.

Although - After the way the week started and kept going - not many ways to go but up.

Hmm...

talking about cycles and highs and lows and peaks and valleys. In cycling is the peak the good part or the valley? you get to the bottom of the valley and you're like awe fuck now I have to climb. maybe the climb is relentless and twisty and you can't see the top, and you're a big clydesdale, a classics rider, a sprinter, in other words ginormous compared to those climbers. The peak, the summit is the start of the good, the valley is awesome as long as it stays flat. Headwinds are fine down there... I guess a mental up and down doesn't have to be literal in the cycling metaphor.

Maybe I'm in the valley, hey, need a draft? sit on my wheel for a spell, as long as you need. I'm feeling like pedaling into the wind right now, esp after that stupid motherfucking hill. 

#AmorFatiMotherfuckers

heddwch

G

tough

heartbreaking? yes... you can see the emotion in everyone.

Milliman crushed it with the film.

the film work is a dramatic style/content contrast to the Mindful series that Castelli did with Sam Smith, preferring one to the other is possible while still respecting and appreciating both of their craft.

Just got another HUGE monkey wrench change tossed at me. still reeling a bit.

unsure how to process, react, what to do. Challenges something that has been a steady constant for 5? years. Fuck I don't remember now. Been a while. This change has enormous unknowns, perhaps there will be no change... time will tell.

I didn't make a second pot of coffee today (don't worry they are only 6 cup Chemex pots) first time all week and

I
am
dra
g
g
g
g
ing

I like being so caffeinated that I can see sounds and hear colors.

well until it is time to sleep

then it is kind of the worst

so much for leaving early.
best just say hey chat later and all that

heddwch
G

switched it up

it is a Frank Turner evening

with a side of beans and toast

unexpected and delightful side effect

if anything can be a delight in this funk...

delightful may be a literary hook, a complete and total exaggeration probably...

so i should go back and edit out the and delightful but whatever

it was windy this morning again... headwind mostly, Daffs are up, the simple heritage variety from Wales my dad had growing in MD are blooming. Well some of them are. The ones i put up front. May just need to move the others - I think they are popping up veggie stuff but not reproductive flower stuff...

5 years of them blooming. Put em in back in '14 when we moved em out of the house down there.

Then I drove with my dad out to CO, had big plans to talk with my dad on the drive about stuff, we kind of just sat in the truck and appreciated the geography of this big ol diverse country.

Ohio down there near Dayton is certainly the flattest section of highway until you get to Colorado and the plains before the front range.


Funny, this song just started in on the playlist....

I got thinking about it all - timing was good, I got to hang out with my dad before the first decline, then headed out for a week with my brothers before the second precipitous one... then the visit last spring before he broke his arm and took another turn for the worst.

There's a complicated mess out there right now, my brothers and myself, we're all kind of the same, similar strengths and weaknesses, I'm by good measure the stupid one, the least socially adept, most awkward, no gifts. The two out there have a lot of work that has to be done in person, keep your shit in order folks.

I've toned down the level of mistakes today, back to almost normal, can't shake the cloud, the funk, the feeling. But is is kind of cool not knowing what happened with the politics crap, not hearing about Covid-19 or seeing more empty shelves of useless* hand sanitizer or complaints about people wearing masks that have no idea why they need them or what they for. One that wasn't from that place, person wearing mask stopped, removed mask (improperly and unsanitarily) and coughed into their elbow then put the mask back on... awesome... the only significant utility of the fucking mask is to capture shit coming OUT OF YOU. It does dickall for dealing with stuff coming in. Okay fine, it does a LITTLE bit of good, but really not much, and is very poor at preventing getting infected. A properly fitted mask is good at keeping whatever you have inside you. AKA the exhaust ports on your fucking face.

I'm still in a fucking bad mood i guess.

Why are people so dumb, and at the same time why do they think they know everything. Yeah thanks for handing me that mirror.

I guess the side effect is that there's no new outrage to push the last one out. but that one kind of sucked on many intertwined levels. Best load up on coffee - pull my socks up, punch the wall, take a deep breath and move forward.

heddwch
G