Crushing grip of panic and anxiety.
Kicked off by what was supposed to be a reassuring email from work.
Funny getting the email while I was at the bike shop getting things in order for tomorrow's return to working the second job.
Pausing to try to capture this moment of physical oh shit, arms tingling and stuff.
It is now 5 hours later. I've talked with my mother. A childhood friend that I don't remember, if not a friend well my mother's friend's son, died from the virus.
He died alone.
That didn't help my panic.
It transformed it though.
Watched making the cut as a family tonight. Finally something everyone could agree on. But if course we watched two episodes back to back... And there are only two episodes right now.
I'm still writing this on my phone. Other devices are in different rooms.
I wanted to write about the start of Fleet week, but I might stop with it for a bit. Maybe tomorrow is a day for a break. If I don't ride, can't break the streak.
And ffs I was doing so damn well.
And here I am, no masks. And completely freaking out.
Maybe I'll wake up and be able to write.
Right now I'm kind of at a loss.
A really low point.
Have to rally, really just have to try and sleep.
I can rally tomorrow.
Heddwch
G
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