Soul searching -

questions and how to live a life...

demanding perfection around while attempting to do what you can do on your own side?

wondering why something is the way it is, point out a contradiction in someone else that magnifies a contradiction in ones actions?

pointing out the negative stuff only, amidst a crowd of people saying good and great positive things?

affect change?

The last week has been pretty challenging for me, personally, mentally, and physically. And I didn't even race.

The human condition is a curious one. The demands we perceive that we need are interesting.

It is impossible to live a life free of contradiction. Many work hard to hide that contradiction. Or at least not to get caught in the, for some reason, rare chance that they might be seen as a do as I say not as I do kind of person. What if a large percentage of the time the person who is saying do as I do is also doing that? Sure that odd time of exception may be pretty blaring.

Do you think Micheal Pollan eats within 100% of his recommendations? He might be very close but probably not perfect. Do the dietitians and nutrition experts who say to avoid nutrition labels do that themselves as much as they could be?

Eat/buy local is important. To the exclusion of everything? Of course not. Often there is a better way than the one we try to do.

I heard something this morning while making some apple cinnamon pancakes for the girls. It struck me as a great motto, a model to follow.

We will end it by telling the truth forcefully, repeatedly, confidently, and by trusting that the American people will embrace the need for change, even if it's coming from an imperfect messenger...

An imperfect messenger.

I work at it. I try. But it comes down to the fact that in my core I feel for the most part I am doing what I can as much of the time as possible. Along the way I certainly cast off more vinegar than honey. I realized last night that I do actually have a bit of honey to cast off, and there are two general places I spread it thick, leaving an imbalance others.

But hey. I have a new bike. A new h-bar on order and well - it might be a ghetto commuter rig with odd shifters and parts on it for a bit. But man, it is wicked cool. Soul? I dunno yet. I don't think so. Not like the Paramount. But the bike room is standing room only... I need to install a few more ceiling lifts.

Whoo Hooo!

Oh and no - i didn't take any pictures last night. I totally crashed, hard. chilled with the girls chatted with my little bro (one of the two that have actually worked in a dairy making yogurt and cheese and stuff)... a good recharge night. a few more like that?

I'll be back.
As nice as it was today - we drove in. But it was still just one car with me and the two kids as my (much) better half commuted in by bike. It is probably a good thing that i didn't ride in as well since I averaged 10 mph with the trailer on the 2 hrs 15 min of pedaling time. It wasn't a fuel bonk, a fluid bonk, but a self-confidence emotional bonk. That or i just mentally cracked. I was slow, no measure of ooph was getting me pedaling harder. Fatigue, mental and physical at least sitting here it is what it seems.

positive - positive -

It is kinda funny that now, what is it, 2008. I actually own my first 1 1/8 threadless fork/stem/headset bike. Kinda funny.

heddwch
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(ps, i did edit this later)